Tfk Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 (edited) Bugger!! Louise has just donated this weeks house keeping, that's oven chips for tea for the rest of the week Dave Evening Dave and Louise hope alls good and a big thank you from the shufflers for both of your very kind donations its well appreciated.... .yummy yummy i could just eat some RonnieMcCains oven ready chups???? i bet by "this time there gone" best tfk Ronnie Edited June 26, 2012 by tfk Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Manfromsoul45s Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 If anyone wants to know what Jock looks like with a buggy?? Chuddy has had to bow out due to work commitments so My good wife Julia..Yes Julia!! has offered to drive the other buggy. Now she will found out that Iv'e spent all this time and money and I am still a Shite Golfer.. Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Tfk Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 (edited) If anyone wants to know what Jock looks like with a buggy?? Chuddy has had to bow out due to work commitments so My good wife Julia..Yes Julia!! has offered to drive the other buggy. Now she will found out that Iv'e spent all this time and money and I am still a Shite Golfer.. Thanks for the update re Chuddy Nice one re Julia standing in .... Hey thats a great photo of Jocko youve posted -thats brilliant the way he drives that buggy from the back- ...he looks like hes an a dodgem car ????? talking of cars/dodgems and buggys??? have just put a couple of quid out to get one of the garages up the east end to do us a modified vehicle up for sunday ??...see what you think ...its got air con etc Glasgow golf buggys rule!!!! tfk Edited June 27, 2012 by tfk Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Tfk Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 David I think you will find the only thing Andy presses, apart from my patience waiting on him getting in touch, is those scarves he wears to make sure they are perfectly straight, which some may say arguably is a bit of an oxymoron given his care and attention to his appearance. No doubt his famous golf safari suit will be out for this day, pictures will appear within seconds on here if he does. Glasgow's own Lester Tipton as our Andy is known. I now have my policy and procedures manual along with my Health and Safety manual and correct headwear and footwear to buy per Chuddy Mr Duddleys, the head honcho party leader and Union representative as he keeps reminding me, instructions and obviously beer would contravene said H&S rules, so only I will be allowed to drink it, which should make the four ball (you can guess which two have none) more interesting for Messrs Law, Broughton, Kitchener and Whitmore as their thirst gets worse during day and I merrily hiccup my way through the day in a rally driver stylee on said buggy. Although I will be dissappointed that due to a combination of weak ankles from years of dancing, war wounds from running up Wigan High Street and fitness levels of a 97 year old I cannot directly compete, I am currently setting up various mediums that hopefully will be broadcast over here on the day to let you know just how bad they are suffering. So cmon boys and girls, I appreciate we suffer a bit charity overload and salary underload these days, but it is a good cause and if is something you can help with, dig deep. Every little helps as Colin has been told many times over years. Looking forward to a hard day already...... Evening Jocko hope youre good to go and all set for sundays fun/frolics and a bit of golf for good measures....hope youve bin to the cash and carry and got our refreshments etc sorted .....mmmm am just flicking through my wardrobe and wondering what the weather will like be on sunday- cause am just eyeing up the old Lester Tipton outfit all pressed and ready to go with my old Twisted Wheel allnighter gloves ???? what do you think ill not be overdressed???? etc tfk Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Louise Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 (edited) Evening Jocko hope youre good to go and all set for sundays fun/frolics and a bit of golf for good measures....hope youve bin to the cash and carry and got our refreshments etc sorted .....mmmm am just flicking through my wardrobe and wondering what the weather will like be on sunday- cause am just eyeing up the old Lester Tipton outfit all pressed and ready to go with my old Twisted Wheel allnighter gloves ???? what do you think ill not be overdressed???? etc tfk Hi Andy May I just suggest deffin' the scarf in favour of a nice cool cravat to accompany your safari suit, if it gets too hot am sure Jocko will be wearing his pith helmet and baggy khaki shorts ala lofty a.k.a Don Estelle of "It Ain't Arf Hot Mum" style. Right any tight -fisted beggars who haven't yet coughed up a donation, shame on you GET DIGGIN' IN YA POCKETS!!!! Edited June 29, 2012 by Louise Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Louise Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 (edited) Julia left in charge of a golf buggy full of booze, OMG!!!! Edited June 29, 2012 by Louise Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Jumpinjoan Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 All the best guys Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Chalky Posted June 29, 2012 Author Share Posted June 29, 2012 Jock's just heard it is last orders at the 19th hole...... Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Chalky Posted June 29, 2012 Author Share Posted June 29, 2012 Julia left in charge of a golf buggy full of booze, OMG!!!! and have you seen the buggy now its laden with booze...... Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Louise Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 Where's the trailer full of cans off the back gone then Chalky? Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Chalky Posted June 29, 2012 Author Share Posted June 29, 2012 Where's the trailer full of cans off the back gone then Chalky? must have done a round already Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
jocko Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 Right, finally been allowed out my Bankers Bunker, seeing daylight for first time of the week and fed up repeating my mantra Yes I work for a Bank, but no I am not a Banker, its not the same thing honest,. So hopefully you can all put away your Crosses, the Zip and the Petrol, for a little while at least! Anyway, on to the real news of this week, time is on us,most of the boys are in town, they are currently being given a pep talk by young Rubin, lMrs K has now taken over from Chuddy and has immediately dumped the crate of energy drinks he had bought and bought 3 crates of beer, for me and her, the rest are Athletes obviously. Only one to arrive is Tef who is coming on the train, we were worried today with the various issues on trains, but Sharon used her considerable influence and super powers to get them back on tracks, either that or she promised to talk to them all next week. So I appreciate we are all on overdose of donations, but if you can and its a cause that you care about then donations still gratefully received. Will hopefully be updating a number of mediums over the day, On here On Facebook per the Golf Shoe Shufflers event and if I can ever work f'ing Twitter about, follow me on James O'Connor @Curious1010 Game on chaps 2 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Louise Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 (edited) Right, finally been allowed out my Bankers Bunker, seeing daylight for first time of the week and fed up repeating my mantra Yes I work for a Bank, but no I am not a Banker, its not the same thing honest,. So hopefully you can all put away your Crosses, the Zip and the Petrol, for a little while at least! Anyway, on to the real news of this week, time is on us,most of the boys are in town, they are currently being given a pep talk by young Rubin, lMrs K has now taken over from Chuddy and has immediately dumped the crate of energy drinks he had bought and bought 3 crates of beer, for me and her, the rest are Athletes obviously. Only one to arrive is Tef who is coming on the train, we were worried today with the various issues on trains, but Sharon used her considerable influence and super powers to get them back on tracks, either that or she promised to talk to them all next week. So I appreciate we are all on overdose of donations, but if you can and its a cause that you care about then donations still gratefully received. Will hopefully be updating a number of mediums over the day, On here On Facebook per the Golf Shoe Shufflers event and if I can ever work f'ing Twitter about, follow me on James O'Connor @Curious1010 Game on chaps Wow Jocko nice speech If your career in banking ever goes tits up you can always move over into the world of politics am sure you could that Alex Salmon a run for his money as first minister Anyone videoing the days proceedings? this could turn into a classic Brit Flick remake of "Caddy Shack" Do they have Goffer's in Scotland? Dave Edited June 30, 2012 by Louise Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Manfromsoul45s Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 Hi everyone, let's keep the topic at the top and keep them donations coming in..Chalky as chief moderator and all round good guy I expect you to make sure everyone knows and beat them into submission. Remember the golf takes second place to what we are doing this for which is a great charity that helps many people suffering with cancer. 3 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Chalky Posted June 30, 2012 Author Share Posted June 30, 2012 I think we all be affected one way or another by this terrible disease. As Kitch says this isn't about the Golf or the lads have a jolly for the day but about raising some much needed funds for a great cause so please help with whatever you can give. MacMillan have been a great source of support and care for those afflicted by cancer and for their families and need all the funds and support they can get. Best of luck boys. Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Louis Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 I think we all be affected one way or another by this terrible disease. As Kitch says this isn't about the Golf or the lads have a jolly for the day but about raising some much needed funds for a great cause so please help with whatever you can give. MacMillan have been a great source of support and care for those afflicted by cancer and for their families and need all the funds and support they can get. Best of luck boys. I echo the above from Chalky and wish all involved tomorrow an enjoyable and worthwhile time for themselves and the MacMillan charity. What music or artists are appropriate for tomorrow?? "Ping went the strings", Willie TEE, A SLICE of the pie, PUTT that woman down, CHIP Tyler, Lady in GREEN There must be more.......................... Louis Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Manfromsoul45s Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 Jock has started an event on facebook https://www.facebook.com/events/126511380822880/ Will try and update with pics and video's as we go along.. 1 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Chalky Posted July 1, 2012 Author Share Posted July 1, 2012 The lads have completed two round s of the four so far. More sponsorship is needed, want to try and break £2k barrier. https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=Golfshoeshufflers&isTeam=true 1 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Chalky Posted July 1, 2012 Author Share Posted July 1, 2012 Well done lads The fourth round completed fifteen minutes or so ago. The final putt.... The Famous Four.... 1 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Alison H Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Well done guys I see that you have broke the £2k barrier (including gift aid) so an extra well done :thumbup: Such a great cause Now go & get pished 1 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Tfk Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 (edited) Well done guys I see that you have broke the £2k barrier (including gift aid) so an extra well done :thumbup: Such a great cause Now go & get pished Have got to say" hey what a cracking day we had yesterday"- great fun and some golf along the way to ....this will stick with me forever and a day! i would like to say on behalf of The Golf Shoe Shufflers:- wow and well done to all of you guys and gals for your encouragement ,support and donations for our charity of choice[Macmillan] golfing day!! "A very very warm thank you" Andy, https://uk.virginmone...#38;isTeam=true Heres a couple of photos from yesterdays golf charity day at The West Linton Golf Club Pebbleshire Scotland... Edited July 3, 2012 by tfk 2 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Tfk Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 (edited) Well done guys I see that you have broke the £2k barrier (including gift aid) so an extra well done :thumbup: Such a great cause Now go & get pished The "Shufflers" in action ????? https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=Golfshoeshufflers&isTeam=true Edited July 3, 2012 by tfk 2 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Tfk Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 (edited) Well done guys I see that you have broke the £2k barrier (including gift aid) so an extra well done :thumbup: Such a great cause Now go & get pished 4 rounds/72 holes 04:30 tee off.....nae bother!!.....its not all serious stuff this golfing .... Photos [ L to R 1 to 9] 1.Team leader and all round buggy expert Jocko does his final H & S inspections on the buggys before he permits the golf to begin [it was a bit like a 99 point MOT check to ensure everything was functioning correctly -sun roof/lights /air con and especially paying attention to the vehicles braking system ] 2 .Colin celebrates getting a hole in none. 3.we were just trying to speed things up.. . 4. Kitch sez:- well 'll i take my hat off to that shot!! 5. looks like Toots has lost something ??mmm he looks like hes on the beach on his holidays with all that sand around him?? 6.our Tef decides its time to " Cool off" as things are beginining to warm up out here.. 7.Man down!!!!????............... any one seen owt of Colin? 8.no thats cheating!! you should use a tee peg for your ball... 9.he must be famous ? theyve named the 14th hole after him ? 10. 18th hole fourth round... mmm looks like a scene from "Last of the the summer wine" are they golf clubs or walking sticks that the Shufflers are using to lean on? tfk https://uk.virginmone...ers&isTeam=true Edited July 3, 2012 by tfk 1 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Jumpinjoan Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 Well done guys Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Alison H Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 The "Shufflers" in action ????? Very impressive, you look like real pro's & Jock looks ever so comfy in his buggy 1 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Alison H Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 4 rounds/72 holes 04:30 tee off.....nae bother!!.....its serious stuff this golfing caper.... Photos L to R 1.Team leader and all round buggy expert Jocko does his final H&S inspections on the buggys before he permits the golf to begin [it was a bit like a 99 point MOT check to ensure everything was functioning correctly -sun roof/lights /air con and especially paying attention to the vehicle braking system ] 2 .Colin celebrates getting his hole in 10. 3.we were just trying to speed things up.. . 4. well 'll i take my hat off to that shot!! 5. looks like Toots has lost something ??mmm he looks like hes on the beach on his holidays with all that sand around him?? 6.our Tef decides its time to " Cool off" as things are beginining to warm up out here.. 7.Man down!!!!????............... any one seen owt of Colin Law? 8.no thats cheating!! you should use a tee peg for your ball... 9.he must be famous? theyve even named the 14th hole after him??? tfk On closer inspection of photo 9 "Crooked Jock" just under the shield, it appears to read cherish the turd Bless, they knew he was coming Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Manfromsoul45s Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 (edited) I think I speak for all of us when we say a big THANK YOU to everone who has donated to this event. We managed to complete the task in just over 14 hours. 2 very short breaks after the 2nd & 3rd rounds. With the weather not being to clever we just wanted to get it finished. A massive shout to Jock (who took about 4 hrs to wake up even though he was driving the buggy) and my good lady Julia who freezed their butts off sitting in those carts for all that time. By the end our feet were killing us but it was worth it. We have raised over £3500 to date and if Mr Whitmores company Scotrail are donating to a childrens charity of thier own as well which is great too!! There is still time to donate as the virgin site is still open for a while yet so the more the merrier.. A very hard but enjoyable day for a very good cause, plus Jock running over Andy with the buggy!! Priceless.. Edited July 6, 2012 by hootenannie 3 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Manfromsoul45s Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 And also a big thank you to Chalky for putting up the post and keeping it up there for us.. 2 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Chalky Posted July 29, 2012 Author Share Posted July 29, 2012 Today is your last chance to donate to this worthy cause that the four intrepid golfers have been supporting and raising funds for. Any support will be more than appreciated. 1 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Tfk Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 (edited) Today is your last chance to donate to this worthy cause that the four intrepid golfers have been supporting and raising funds for. Any support will be more than appreciated.Thanks for that Chalky.....were .currently standing at the amazing figure of :- £3,667.25 ....wow and double wow!!! :hatsoff2: A big thank you and all the best Andy https://uk.virginmone...ers&isTeam=true Edited July 31, 2012 by tfk 2 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Tfk Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 On 7/29/2012 at 20:06, tfk said: Thanks for that Chalky.....were .currently standing at the amazing figure of :- £3,667.25 .... wow and double wow!!! A big thank you and all the best Andy https://uk.virginmone...ers&isTeam=true HEY THE SUN IS SHINING OUT THERE AND YES WERE ON OUR FINAL DAY AND CURRENTLY STANDING AT £4.067.25....... A BIG , BIG THANK YOU TO ALL INVOLVED AND YOUR VERY KIND ENCOURAGEMENT,DONATIONS and CONTRIBUTIONS ........... THE WORLD FAMOUS "GOLFSHOESHUFFLERS" :hatsoff2: :hatsoff2: :hatsoff2: TAKE THEIR HATS OFF TO YOU ALL!!! https://uk.virginmone...ers&isTeam=true 2 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Popular Post jocko Posted July 31, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted July 31, 2012 I have had a number of people asking for an update on this last few weeks and what happened to my updates during the actual day, well the following is his story of the day! So night before, it was suggested come and stay at Chez Laws, we would have a light supper, (you could tell there were Southerners present, they were soon informed that in my world you just say come for your tea and you get food, the start of many communication difficulties were evident), a couple of drinks and a very early night so we could be up in time for our 3.45 start. I was most upset when delivered a contract to sign saying I wouldn't roll up at 3.45 straight from some den of iniquity, I pointed out it was Peebles where the only thing open at that point was the local sheep brothel, but they still made me sign, with default leading to a kicking from Mrs Kitchener. I signed there and then. So on the evening before a genteel family meal was decided on to have, the 4 golfers seem to take umbrage at me continually referring to it as a last supper for them for some reason, the first add to my handicap of the weekend was about to land when unable to make up our mind on whether to drink wine or beer Tef said lets try one of each, we did, they were both excellent so we continued to have one of each every round! Bogie number 1. So after a very pleasant meal back to chez Law's for a couple of light drinks and early to bed, I was most grateful to the four or so who had a hotel room, allowing me the couch in Chez Laws, although that was soon to become another bogie on the score, more of that later. So a few nice glasses of Fizz to celebrate, Tef and Kitch joined me in imbibing but making the point loudly they were leaving soon as they needed their rest, Colin had fallen asleep by this time and was snoring loudly, it was 8.30 so he had managed an extra half hour beyond his normal bedtime since arrival of Rubin, and Andy W was drinking his third glass of water and eating a banana, while straightening his scarf, and making it loudly known he had finished a whole pint in the restaurant. Julia was in the garden shed where the beer was kept, drinking 4 at a time, sensing Tef and Kitch were going to drag her back to the hotel soon. Mrs Whitmore and Ms Chambers (Colin's other half) were chatting politely in the kitchen while opening their fourth bottle of fizz, they had given me a glass out of each one to be fair. Then mass exodus begun, everyone needed their beauty sleep, Colin was dragged up stairs by his son, still snoring and he didn't even open an eye, Mr Whitmore needed to do his stretching exercises, drink more water and iron the 34 scarves he had brought with him to allow him to choose the one that would match his hair dye colour. I went to grab my cover to lie down but before I could sit down, Mrs Whitmore and Ms Chambers appeared with a bottle of fizz in each hand and 3 glasses, saying politely you will join us for 1 wont you. It would have been rude, and probably dangerous, to refuse, so 4 hours later, my ears feeling like they had been assaulted by a cacophony of Kalashnikovs at 1.45am, 2 hours before we leave I took advantage of Mrs W and Miss C going for another couple of bottles by collapsing in a heap on the couch mumbling never again. Double bogie. I was woken by the sight of Mrs Whitmore looking as fresh as daisy staring at me, and all I could hear her saying was "Put the phone down, he is breathing!. I stood up. I collapsed. I stood up slower this time and looked around, it looked like I was in some Disney movie with everyone wearing bright clothes, more of which later and smiling and being happy, I looked at Julia who had drunk the hut dry and yet was looking so fresh as were my two torturers from the couch all of 2 hours ago and then sat down again. I was woken up by my car keys being thrown at my head with a shout of you are driving! Triple Bogie. 5 bacon rolls and 12 cups of coffee taken intravenously and I was ready for the off. I was now awake enough to take in my colleagues, Colin dressed top to toe in white, but looking more like Larry Grayson than Jack Nicklaus, Andy W in perfectly ironed black trousers, with the creases on the outside of the legs continuing in perfect symmetry up the sleeves of his black polo neck, that was so smoothly ironed it was difficult to tell where the jumper stopped and the skin started, until you nipped him. I forgot how he screamed like a girl. Tef was looking a little goggle eyed but generally fit for the off, only sign of him having hurried up was that his claret and blue underpants were on over his trousers, thankfully the weather meant he would need to put waterproofs on over his trousers so thought no point in telling him. And Kitch in corner practising his putting, while Julia moaned that he had hidden her last 12 bottles before she went to bed. And then we were there, their jaws dropped at the first tee as they started to realise just how stupid, very honourable, but stupendously stupid they had been to volunteer. The clouds were gathering, first light was poking through, wildlife peering at them as if they were crazy and in front of them one of the longest toughest courses in the area, that is famous for being twice as hard in a bad weather. A blast of thunder roared. Julia and I put on another layer, sat under cover in the buggy, swapped hip flasks and laughed loudly at their folly! I realised it was time for the first tee when Tef woke me up by throwing a golf ball at me. I set up my phone and i-pad to give you all an hourly report of our jolly japes, only to find as usual 0-2 signal was minus 2 bars! My plans to have 14million twats follow me on twitter, making me the biggest Twit alive,were foiled. Another bogie. First few holes were uneventful, mainly because I slept all the way round, just waking up long enough to point buggy straight ahead and put my foot down while snoozing, only hit the occasional hill on way round. Andy W in particular said he was impressed by how well I handled the buggy. After them all moaning at me to stop snoring, I thought I better wake up properly, just in time to find Julia stealthily swapping her now empty hip flask for my still full one. The rest of the round actually was pretty jovial and jolly, all being very sporting, giving each other 20 foot putts and patting each other on the back saying well done each hole, you knew it wouldn't last. The first round went in a whirl, Colin still looking like a Persil advert, Andy W swatting mercilessly a fly that that had landed on one of his creases, Tef wondering why his trousers were rubbing more than ever, and Kitch, still practising his putting whistling quietly and scribbling notes on every hole, but on closer inspection was slyly drinking the twelve bottles he had hid from Julia the previous night! We had been worried about the mass of midges waiting to feast on our flesh, but they were foiled by my flashing Tef's cigar past Julia just as she was breathing out, the alcoholic flash of flames soon had them scurrying away looking for easier prey. Birdie no.1. It was decided to march straight on to tee without a break, boys were feeling good, and thought lets go for it. Few drinks of water, few bananas, Julia filled both hip flasks, and kept both, I slept but was woken up by Mr Whitmore's snapping his knuckles and stretching his muscles, whispering under his breath, "my body is THE temple". The 2nd round was almost as jolly, and incident free, other than Colin slipping slightly and ending up with a grass stain on his knees, thankfully he had brought another 7 pairs to change into, Andy brought on the substitute scarf that now made him look like Lionel Blair rather than Prettyboy Weller, thought I better not tell him, as he was getting a bit cheeky. Revenge is a dish best served cold. And another incident free round done in record time, mostly because they didn't look for lost balls, which in Mr W's case is 2 a hole, although that never seems to make its way onto scorecard, and proving the only bright thing about our much missed Chudders not being present as like all Yorkshireman he refuses to leave any lost ball while it is still light, and he will often produce his old miners helmet to prolong the search, we could have been there some time. So after round 2, some weary legs but revived by bacon rolls and coffee, the boys were ready for a competitive round, As the course was much busier they would now have to slow down, so this was designated as the clash of Titans round (pretty tiny titans admittedly but lets call it a metaphor) and off they went. Shot after shot, growl after growl, no pats or warm handshakes now, shouts of temper and teeth being gnashed so loud at missed putts I feared for their tickers. The end of each hole was recognised from the salutation of lucky Bast**d or you sure you didn't take 2 out of the bunker. But all was going relatively well, Andy W just second, although not counting the lost balls again, Kitch slowly coming up on the outside and Tef starting to unleash the drives to catch up, while Colin forgot to tell every one he had lost 7 strokes in his handicap streaked ahead. All was going swimmingly until towards the 17th Andy Whitmore almost gave me a heart attack, I was driving up the path besides the fairway minding my own business when he threw himself not just in front of my buggy but straight against the windscreen, his face looking like he was on some downward rollercoaster ride, he now knew how that poor fly he had swatted earlier felt. Not only did he throw himself on he clung on for about 30 yards as I, mistakenly due to the screaming and panic all around , pressed on the accelerator pedal instead of the brakes. Oops, I did apologise but my lawyer completely refutes the story I was getting bored just playing bumpers with Julia and drove straight at him and pressed the accelerator, deliberately, just to see how high I could punt him. Totally libellous. And I am not the vengeful sort! The remaining 2 holes were a little muted, we almost fell sorry for Mr W and let him on the buggy, I did say only almost, as soon as he got close we drove away. The boys were now ready for soup and final round. The final round was a slog, there were some weary legs and arms with most holes seeming twice as long. Again we felt empathetic and sympathetic towards our brave soldiers, however anyone trying to get a free hurl on the buggy was still seen off with the cattle prod we had brought along for the job of keeping the boys off the buggies, sporting integrity and all that. So some 15 hours after we started, 1000's of golf shots, lost balls increasing as rounds went on, we finished with an amazing sense of camaraderie, kinship and completeness, there was a huge sense of achievement, we felt like the real team GB, proper Olympians. I was however brought back to Earth by Julia kicking me out of the team photos as to be fair the boys had done all the real hard hard work, we had just had fun watching, oh that and it was my round again....... So all in all, a fantastic achievement by these guys, in both money achievements but in making it round and still smiling, and guess what they were so inspired by the money everyone has contributed they want to do it again. Bunch of nutters. I know people contribute to loads of things these days and in loads of different ways so hopefully not wanting to pressure, but if anyone who hasn't still wants to donate, it would be gratefully received and gratefully used. I still haven't so off over there now. Well done guys, proud to call you all friends! 4 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Chalky Posted July 31, 2012 Author Share Posted July 31, 2012 that were funny Jock 1 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Tfk Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I have had a number of people asking for an update on this last few weeks and what happened to my updates during the actual day, well the following is his story of the day! So night before, it was suggested come and stay at Chez Laws, we would have a light supper, (you could tell there were Southerners present, they were soon informed that in my world you just say come for your tea and you get food, the start of many communication difficulties were evident), a couple of drinks and a very early night so we could be up in time for our 3.45 start. I was most upset when delivered a contract to sign saying I wouldn't roll up at 3.45 straight from some den of iniquity, I pointed out it was Peebles where the only thing open at that point was the local sheep brothel, but they still made me sign, with default leading to a kicking from Mrs Kitchener. I signed there and then. So on the evening before a genteel family meal was decided on to have, the 4 golfers seem to take umbrage at me continually referring to it as a last supper for them for some reason, the first add to my handicap of the weekend was about to land when unable to make up our mind on whether to drink wine or beer Tef said lets try one of each, we did, they were both excellent so we continued to have one of each every round! Bogie number 1. So after a very pleasant meal back to chez Law's for a couple of light drinks and early to bed, I was most grateful to the four or so who had a hotel room, allowing me the couch in Chez Laws, although that was soon to become another bogie on the score, more of that later. So a few nice glasses of Fizz to celebrate, Tef and Kitch joined me in imbibing but making the point loudly they were leaving soon as they needed their rest, Colin had fallen asleep by this time and was snoring loudly, it was 8.30 so he had managed an extra half hour beyond his normal bedtime since arrival of Rubin, and Andy W was drinking his third glass of water and eating a banana, while straightening his scarf, and making it loudly known he had finished a whole pint in the restaurant. Julia was in the garden shed where the beer was kept, drinking 4 at a time, sensing Tef and Kitch were going to drag her back to the hotel soon. Mrs Whitmore and Ms Chambers (Colin's other half) were chatting politely in the kitchen while opening their fourth bottle of fizz, they had given me a glass out of each one to be fair. Then mass exodus begun, everyone needed their beauty sleep, Colin was dragged up stairs by his son, still snoring and he didn't even open an eye, Mr Whitmore needed to do his stretching exercises, drink more water and iron the 34 scarves he had brought with him to allow him to choose the one that would match his hair dye colour. I went to grab my cover to lie down but before I could sit down, Mrs Whitmore and Ms Chambers appeared with a bottle of fizz in each hand and 3 glasses, saying politely you will join us for 1 wont you. It would have been rude, and probably dangerous, to refuse, so 4 hours later, my ears feeling like they had been assaulted by a cacophony of Kalashnikovs at 1.45am, 2 hours before we leave I took advantage of Mrs W and Miss C going for another couple of bottles by collapsing in a heap on the couch mumbling never again. Double bogie. I was woken by the sight of Mrs Whitmore looking as fresh as daisy staring at me, and all I could hear her saying was "Put the phone down, he is breathing!. I stood up. I collapsed. I stood up slower this time and looked around, it looked like I was in some Disney movie with everyone wearing bright clothes, more of which later and smiling and being happy, I looked at Julia who had drunk the hut dry and yet was looking so fresh as were my two torturers from the couch all of 2 hours ago and then sat down again. I was woken up by my car keys being thrown at my head with a shout of you are driving! Triple Bogie. 5 bacon rolls and 12 cups of coffee taken intravenously and I was ready for the off. I was now awake enough to take in my colleagues, Colin dressed top to toe in white, but looking more like Larry Grayson than Jack Nicklaus, Andy W in perfectly ironed black trousers, with the creases on the outside of the legs continuing in perfect symmetry up the sleeves of his black polo neck, that was so smoothly ironed it was difficult to tell where the jumper stopped and the skin started, until you nipped him. I forgot how he screamed like a girl. Tef was looking a little goggle eyed but generally fit for the off, only sign of him having hurried up was that his claret and blue underpants were on over his trousers, thankfully the weather meant he would need to put waterproofs on over his trousers so thought no point in telling him. And Kitch in corner practising his putting, while Julia moaned that he had hidden her last 12 bottles before she went to bed. And then we were there, their jaws dropped at the first tee as they started to realise just how stupid, very honourable, but stupendously stupid they had been to volunteer. The clouds were gathering, first light was poking through, wildlife peering at them as if they were crazy and in front of them one of the longest toughest courses in the area, that is famous for being twice as hard in a bad weather. A blast of thunder roared. Julia and I put on another layer, sat under cover in the buggy, swapped hip flasks and laughed loudly at their folly! I realised it was time for the first tee when Tef woke me up by throwing a golf ball at me. I set up my phone and i-pad to give you all an hourly report of our jolly japes, only to find as usual 0-2 signal was minus 2 bars! My plans to have 14million twats follow me on twitter, making me the biggest Twit alive,were foiled. Another bogie. First few holes were uneventful, mainly because I slept all the way round, just waking up long enough to point buggy straight ahead and put my foot down while snoozing, only hit the occasional hill on way round. Andy W in particular said he was impressed by how well I handled the buggy. After them all moaning at me to stop snoring, I thought I better wake up properly, just in time to find Julia stealthily swapping her now empty hip flask for my still full one. The rest of the round actually was pretty jovial and jolly, all being very sporting, giving each other 20 foot putts and patting each other on the back saying well done each hole, you knew it wouldn't last. The first round went in a whirl, Colin still looking like a Persil advert, Andy W swatting mercilessly a fly that that had landed on one of his creases, Tef wondering why his trousers were rubbing more than ever, and Kitch, still practising his putting whistling quietly and scribbling notes on every hole, but on closer inspection was slyly drinking the twelve bottles he had hid from Julia the previous night! We had been worried about the mass of midges waiting to feast on our flesh, but they were foiled by my flashing Tef's cigar past Julia just as she was breathing out, the alcoholic flash of flames soon had them scurrying away looking for easier prey. Birdie no.1. It was decided to march straight on to tee without a break, boys were feeling good, and thought lets go for it. Few drinks of water, few bananas, Julia filled both hip flasks, and kept both, I slept but was woken up by Mr Whitmore's snapping his knuckles and stretching his muscles, whispering under his breath, "my body is THE temple". The 2nd round was almost as jolly, and incident free, other than Colin slipping slightly and ending up with a grass stain on his knees, thankfully he had brought another 7 pairs to change into, Andy brought on the substitute scarf that now made him look like Lionel Blair rather than Prettyboy Weller, thought I better not tell him, as he was getting a bit cheeky. Revenge is a dish best served cold. And another incident free round done in record time, mostly because they didn't look for lost balls, which in Mr W's case is 2 a hole, although that never seems to make its way onto scorecard, and proving the only bright thing about our much missed Chudders not being present as like all Yorkshireman he refuses to leave any lost ball while it is still light, and he will often produce his old miners helmet to prolong the search, we could have been there some time. So after round 2, some weary legs but revived by bacon rolls and coffee, the boys were ready for a competitive round, As the course was much busier they would now have to slow down, so this was designated as the clash of Titans round (pretty tiny titans admittedly but lets call it a metaphor) and off they went. Shot after shot, growl after growl, no pats or warm handshakes now, shouts of temper and teeth being gnashed so loud at missed putts I feared for their tickers. The end of each hole was recognised from the salutation of lucky Bast**d or you sure you didn't take 2 out of the bunker. But all was going relatively well, Andy W just second, although not counting the lost balls again, Kitch slowly coming up on the outside and Tef starting to unleash the drives to catch up, while Colin forgot to tell every one he had lost 7 strokes in his handicap streaked ahead. All was going swimmingly until towards the 17th Andy Whitmore almost gave me a heart attack, I was driving up the path besides the fairway minding my own business when he threw himself not just in front of my buggy but straight against the windscreen, his face looking like he was on some downward rollercoaster ride, he now knew how that poor fly he had swatted earlier felt. Not only did he throw himself on he clung on for about 30 yards as I, mistakenly due to the screaming and panic all around , pressed on the accelerator pedal instead of the brakes. Oops, I did apologise but my lawyer completely refutes the story I was getting bored just playing bumpers with Julia and drove straight at him and pressed the accelerator, deliberately, just to see how high I could punt him. Totally libellous. And I am not the vengeful sort! The remaining 2 holes were a little muted, we almost fell sorry for Mr W and let him on the buggy, I did say only almost, as soon as he got close we drove away. The boys were now ready for soup and final round. The final round was a slog, there were some weary legs and arms with most holes seeming twice as long. Again we felt empathetic and sympathetic towards our brave soldiers, however anyone trying to get a free hurl on the buggy was still seen off with the cattle prod we had brought along for the job of keeping the boys off the buggies, sporting integrity and all that. So some 15 hours after we started, 1000's of golf shots, lost balls increasing as rounds went on, we finished with an amazing sense of camaraderie, kinship and completeness, there was a huge sense of achievement, we felt like the real team GB, proper Olympians. I was however brought back to Earth by Julia kicking me out of the team photos as to be fair the boys had done all the real hard hard work, we had just had fun watching, oh that and it was my round again....... So all in all, a fantastic achievement by these guys, in both money achievements but in making it round and still smiling, and guess what they were so inspired by the money everyone has contributed they want to do it again. Bunch of nutters. I know people contribute to loads of things these days and in loads of different ways so hopefully not wanting to pressure, but if anyone who hasn't still wants to donate, it would be gratefully received and gratefully used. I still haven't so off over there now. Well done guys, proud to call you all friends! That is brilliant Jocko......your wasted mate!!!!! best Andy Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Alison H Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I have had a number of people asking for an update on this last few weeks and what happened to my updates during the actual day, well the following is his story of the day! So night before, it was suggested come and stay at Chez Laws, we would have a light supper, (you could tell there were Southerners present, they were soon informed that in my world you just say come for your tea and you get food, the start of many communication difficulties were evident), a couple of drinks and a very early night so we could be up in time for our 3.45 start. I was most upset when delivered a contract to sign saying I wouldn't roll up at 3.45 straight from some den of iniquity, I pointed out it was Peebles where the only thing open at that point was the local sheep brothel, but they still made me sign, with default leading to a kicking from Mrs Kitchener. I signed there and then. So on the evening before a genteel family meal was decided on to have, the 4 golfers seem to take umbrage at me continually referring to it as a last supper for them for some reason, the first add to my handicap of the weekend was about to land when unable to make up our mind on whether to drink wine or beer Tef said lets try one of each, we did, they were both excellent so we continued to have one of each every round! Bogie number 1. So after a very pleasant meal back to chez Law's for a couple of light drinks and early to bed, I was most grateful to the four or so who had a hotel room, allowing me the couch in Chez Laws, although that was soon to become another bogie on the score, more of that later. So a few nice glasses of Fizz to celebrate, Tef and Kitch joined me in imbibing but making the point loudly they were leaving soon as they needed their rest, Colin had fallen asleep by this time and was snoring loudly, it was 8.30 so he had managed an extra half hour beyond his normal bedtime since arrival of Rubin, and Andy W was drinking his third glass of water and eating a banana, while straightening his scarf, and making it loudly known he had finished a whole pint in the restaurant. Julia was in the garden shed where the beer was kept, drinking 4 at a time, sensing Tef and Kitch were going to drag her back to the hotel soon. Mrs Whitmore and Ms Chambers (Colin's other half) were chatting politely in the kitchen while opening their fourth bottle of fizz, they had given me a glass out of each one to be fair. Then mass exodus begun, everyone needed their beauty sleep, Colin was dragged up stairs by his son, still snoring and he didn't even open an eye, Mr Whitmore needed to do his stretching exercises, drink more water and iron the 34 scarves he had brought with him to allow him to choose the one that would match his hair dye colour. I went to grab my cover to lie down but before I could sit down, Mrs Whitmore and Ms Chambers appeared with a bottle of fizz in each hand and 3 glasses, saying politely you will join us for 1 wont you. It would have been rude, and probably dangerous, to refuse, so 4 hours later, my ears feeling like they had been assaulted by a cacophony of Kalashnikovs at 1.45am, 2 hours before we leave I took advantage of Mrs W and Miss C going for another couple of bottles by collapsing in a heap on the couch mumbling never again. Double bogie. I was woken by the sight of Mrs Whitmore looking as fresh as daisy staring at me, and all I could hear her saying was "Put the phone down, he is breathing!. I stood up. I collapsed. I stood up slower this time and looked around, it looked like I was in some Disney movie with everyone wearing bright clothes, more of which later and smiling and being happy, I looked at Julia who had drunk the hut dry and yet was looking so fresh as were my two torturers from the couch all of 2 hours ago and then sat down again. I was woken up by my car keys being thrown at my head with a shout of you are driving! Triple Bogie. 5 bacon rolls and 12 cups of coffee taken intravenously and I was ready for the off. I was now awake enough to take in my colleagues, Colin dressed top to toe in white, but looking more like Larry Grayson than Jack Nicklaus, Andy W in perfectly ironed black trousers, with the creases on the outside of the legs continuing in perfect symmetry up the sleeves of his black polo neck, that was so smoothly ironed it was difficult to tell where the jumper stopped and the skin started, until you nipped him. I forgot how he screamed like a girl. Tef was looking a little goggle eyed but generally fit for the off, only sign of him having hurried up was that his claret and blue underpants were on over his trousers, thankfully the weather meant he would need to put waterproofs on over his trousers so thought no point in telling him. And Kitch in corner practising his putting, while Julia moaned that he had hidden her last 12 bottles before she went to bed. And then we were there, their jaws dropped at the first tee as they started to realise just how stupid, very honourable, but stupendously stupid they had been to volunteer. The clouds were gathering, first light was poking through, wildlife peering at them as if they were crazy and in front of them one of the longest toughest courses in the area, that is famous for being twice as hard in a bad weather. A blast of thunder roared. Julia and I put on another layer, sat under cover in the buggy, swapped hip flasks and laughed loudly at their folly! I realised it was time for the first tee when Tef woke me up by throwing a golf ball at me. I set up my phone and i-pad to give you all an hourly report of our jolly japes, only to find as usual 0-2 signal was minus 2 bars! My plans to have 14million twats follow me on twitter, making me the biggest Twit alive,were foiled. Another bogie. First few holes were uneventful, mainly because I slept all the way round, just waking up long enough to point buggy straight ahead and put my foot down while snoozing, only hit the occasional hill on way round. Andy W in particular said he was impressed by how well I handled the buggy. After them all moaning at me to stop snoring, I thought I better wake up properly, just in time to find Julia stealthily swapping her now empty hip flask for my still full one. The rest of the round actually was pretty jovial and jolly, all being very sporting, giving each other 20 foot putts and patting each other on the back saying well done each hole, you knew it wouldn't last. The first round went in a whirl, Colin still looking like a Persil advert, Andy W swatting mercilessly a fly that that had landed on one of his creases, Tef wondering why his trousers were rubbing more than ever, and Kitch, still practising his putting whistling quietly and scribbling notes on every hole, but on closer inspection was slyly drinking the twelve bottles he had hid from Julia the previous night! We had been worried about the mass of midges waiting to feast on our flesh, but they were foiled by my flashing Tef's cigar past Julia just as she was breathing out, the alcoholic flash of flames soon had them scurrying away looking for easier prey. Birdie no.1. It was decided to march straight on to tee without a break, boys were feeling good, and thought lets go for it. Few drinks of water, few bananas, Julia filled both hip flasks, and kept both, I slept but was woken up by Mr Whitmore's snapping his knuckles and stretching his muscles, whispering under his breath, "my body is THE temple". The 2nd round was almost as jolly, and incident free, other than Colin slipping slightly and ending up with a grass stain on his knees, thankfully he had brought another 7 pairs to change into, Andy brought on the substitute scarf that now made him look like Lionel Blair rather than Prettyboy Weller, thought I better not tell him, as he was getting a bit cheeky. Revenge is a dish best served cold. And another incident free round done in record time, mostly because they didn't look for lost balls, which in Mr W's case is 2 a hole, although that never seems to make its way onto scorecard, and proving the only bright thing about our much missed Chudders not being present as like all Yorkshireman he refuses to leave any lost ball while it is still light, and he will often produce his old miners helmet to prolong the search, we could have been there some time. So after round 2, some weary legs but revived by bacon rolls and coffee, the boys were ready for a competitive round, As the course was much busier they would now have to slow down, so this was designated as the clash of Titans round (pretty tiny titans admittedly but lets call it a metaphor) and off they went. Shot after shot, growl after growl, no pats or warm handshakes now, shouts of temper and teeth being gnashed so loud at missed putts I feared for their tickers. The end of each hole was recognised from the salutation of lucky Bast**d or you sure you didn't take 2 out of the bunker. But all was going relatively well, Andy W just second, although not counting the lost balls again, Kitch slowly coming up on the outside and Tef starting to unleash the drives to catch up, while Colin forgot to tell every one he had lost 7 strokes in his handicap streaked ahead. All was going swimmingly until towards the 17th Andy Whitmore almost gave me a heart attack, I was driving up the path besides the fairway minding my own business when he threw himself not just in front of my buggy but straight against the windscreen, his face looking like he was on some downward rollercoaster ride, he now knew how that poor fly he had swatted earlier felt. Not only did he throw himself on he clung on for about 30 yards as I, mistakenly due to the screaming and panic all around , pressed on the accelerator pedal instead of the brakes. Oops, I did apologise but my lawyer completely refutes the story I was getting bored just playing bumpers with Julia and drove straight at him and pressed the accelerator, deliberately, just to see how high I could punt him. Totally libellous. And I am not the vengeful sort! The remaining 2 holes were a little muted, we almost fell sorry for Mr W and let him on the buggy, I did say only almost, as soon as he got close we drove away. The boys were now ready for soup and final round. The final round was a slog, there were some weary legs and arms with most holes seeming twice as long. Again we felt empathetic and sympathetic towards our brave soldiers, however anyone trying to get a free hurl on the buggy was still seen off with the cattle prod we had brought along for the job of keeping the boys off the buggies, sporting integrity and all that. So some 15 hours after we started, 1000's of golf shots, lost balls increasing as rounds went on, we finished with an amazing sense of camaraderie, kinship and completeness, there was a huge sense of achievement, we felt like the real team GB, proper Olympians. I was however brought back to Earth by Julia kicking me out of the team photos as to be fair the boys had done all the real hard hard work, we had just had fun watching, oh that and it was my round again....... So all in all, a fantastic achievement by these guys, in both money achievements but in making it round and still smiling, and guess what they were so inspired by the money everyone has contributed they want to do it again. Bunch of nutters. I know people contribute to loads of things these days and in loads of different ways so hopefully not wanting to pressure, but if anyone who hasn't still wants to donate, it would be gratefully received and gratefully used. I still haven't so off over there now. Well done guys, proud to call you all friends! :lol: Fantastic Jock! You should make a movie with that beauty ................"Carry on Golfing" :lol: Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Alison H Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 HEY THE SUN IS SHINING OUT THERE AND YES WERE ON OUR FINAL DAY AND CURRENTLY STANDING AT £4.067.25....... A BIG , BIG THANK YOU TO ALL INVOLVED AND YOUR VERY KIND ENCOURAGEMENT,DONATIONS and CONTRIBUTIONS ........... THE WORLD FAMOUS "GOLFSHOESHUFFLERS" :hatsoff2: :hatsoff2: :hatsoff2: TAKE THEIR HATS OFF TO YOU ALL!!! https://uk.virginmone...ers&isTeam=true Over £4k !!!!! Well done guys, not forgetting Julia & Jock Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Guest Byrney Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 that were funny Jock It certainly was, top form James. Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Louise Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 (edited) That is brilliant Jocko......your wasted mate!!!!! best Andy Now then Andy Is your quote ' Your wasted mate' mean't as a term of endearment towards Jocko or a veiled threat in retaliation for him running you over with a golf buggy (twice for good measure) ? ...... Edited August 3, 2012 by Louise 1 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Tfk Posted August 6, 2012 Share Posted August 6, 2012 (edited) Over £4k !!!!! Well done guys, not forgetting Julia & Jock Good morning on this sunny Monday morning... Hoping alls good -just to keep you all up to speed We have collected / had donated for our golfing day charity/charities :- Macmillan Cancer support £4,242.25 and additionally Action for Children[ Donated by Network Rail] £4,242.25 Grand Total for our day............................... £ 8,484.50 Not bad for 4 rounds of golf ? Phew!!!!! Thank you all for your support/ encouragement /kind words and amazing donations..... Tef,Colin,Alan,Andy,Julia and Jock :hatsoff2: :hatsoff2: :hatsoff2: [see attached email below from Network Rail and Action for Children] From: Hardy Suzanne Sent: Friday, August 03, 2012 11:18 AM To: Whitmore Andy Subject: Receipt of Matched Giving Form Andy Congratulations on your fundraising! Thank you for telling us about your fundraising efforts. We have received your matched giving form and Network Rail will match £ for £ until we reach our maximum of £150,000 per year (April-March), to our charity of choice, Action for Children. Catherine Morton from Action for Children says "Thank you so much for all the time and effort you have put into fundraising for, and supporting our charity. The matched funding we receive from Network Rail will help us to transform the lives of the children we work with. The beginning of our journey as a charity was inspired at Waterloo in 1869 when our founder discovered abandoned children living underneath the railway bridge. He set up a children's home in Waterloo, to help them and others like them. Vulnerable children needed our help then, and they still need it now. We've grown to become one of the UK's oldest and largest children's charities, committed to being there for vulnerable children for as long as it takes. Together, we can ensure better journeys to brighter futures for thousands of children across Britain." Thank you once again for your support of Network Rail's charity of choice. If you have any questions or need anymore information please call the charities line on 085 67777 or email charitablegiving@networkrail.co.uk. Sue Sue Hardy Community Investment Executive, Network Rail Tel: 02033 569 518 Mobile: 07720 957081 Network Rail, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9AG www.networkrail.co.uk/responsible Edited August 6, 2012 by tfk Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Chalky Posted August 8, 2012 Author Share Posted August 8, 2012 fantastic final amount. well done to all concrned. Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
jocko Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 I won't ever complain about the constantly late trains again, although the safety side is still a bit dodgy. Well done to the RMT for supporting this, between this and the Gay Pride marches that Andy attends the RMT guys are really supportive of local communities. 1 Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
Hornet Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 every may there is a steady flat 110 mile cycle ride to llangollen from stoke ( 2mile from KH ) raising money for dougie mac ! a good day out for a good cause !! Link to comment Social source share More sharing options...
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