Harrowing Tale Of A Vinyl Addict

[Guest Brett F]

Scene is at the vinyl rehabilitation centre....People sat round in a circle on chairs while the Doctor holds court in the centre.

Brett: My name is Brett and I'm a vinyl addict. (Applause from the other attendees)

Doctor: Brett when did your habit first arise.

Brett: I was just at a party, and some of the older lads had, you know, these boxes of 45's.

Doctor: Can you elaborate.

Brett: Well out of curiosity I happened to place The Q on Hound upon the turntable, next thing I remember was the pure rush and everyone is spinning.... (Attendees nodding, it's a familiar tale)

Doctor: But later you became a fervent addict, do you feel comfortable talking about the French E.P's.

Brett: (nervously rubbing his hands) Yeah things moved on pretty quick, I got involved with the United Artists French 45's...

Doctor: And the picture sleeves.

Brett: (Head in hands) Yeah it was a pretty tough time, no money the tell tale cuts on the hands from the handling, the staying up all night and of course me and a few started looking at the more obscure things, Lebanese Stax, Los Angeles stuff on Philo Spectrum etc.... Cost me my marriage, Kids, the house .the lot.

Doctor:.....What about Pzazz.

Brett: This was the absolute nadir, I'd seen others chasing the Shrine stuff, but the Pzazz just sort of had a hold over me, then of course we started going to clubs with our 45's and.......(Shaking head at the thought) shared the same needle.... an ortofon concorde if I remember....all very hazy and savage. (A few others from the group console Brett at this stage, he is physically wrecked)

Doctor: I believe you have come through the black period now and are occasionally using Vinyl substitutes.

Brett : Yeah, the hospital put me on a course of Compact Discs, Audio Cassettes and MP3's, but Doc it's like this would you drink Champagne from a Polystyrene cup...............

None of the names have being changed to protect anybody..........

Brett.....

[Eamesy]

Scene is at the vinyl rehabilitation centre....People sat round in a circle on chairs while the Doctor holds court in the centre.

Brett: My name is Brett and I'm a vinyl addict. (Applause from the other attendees)

Doctor: Brett when did your habit first arise.

Brett: I was just at a party, and some of the older lads had, you know, these boxes of 45's.

Doctor: Can you elaborate.

Brett: Well out of curiosity I happened to place The Q on Hound upon the turntable, next thing I remember was the pure rush and everyone is spinning.... (Attendees nodding, it's a familiar tale)

Doctor: But later you became a fervent addict, do you feel comfortable talking about the French E.P's.

Brett: (nervously rubbing his hands) Yeah things moved on pretty quick, I got involved with the United Artists French 45's...

Doctor: And the picture sleeves.

Brett: (Head in hands) Yeah it was a pretty tough time, no money the tell tale cuts on the hands from the handling, the staying up all night and of course me and a few started looking at the more obscure things, Lebanese Stax, Los Angeles stuff on Philo Spectrum etc.... Cost me my marriage, Kids, the house .the lot.

Doctor:.....What about Pzazz.

Brett: This was the absolute nadir, I'd seen others chasing the Shrine stuff, but the Pzazz just sort of had a hold over me, then of course we started going to clubs with our 45's and.......(Shaking head at the thought) shared the same needle.... an ortofon concorde if I remember....all very hazy and savage. (A few others from the group console Brett at this stage, he is physically wrecked)

Doctor: I believe you have come through the black period now and are occasionally using Vinyl substitutes.

Brett : Yeah, the hospital put me on a course of Compact Discs, Audio Cassettes and MP3's, but Doc it's like this would you drink Champagne from a Polystyrene cup...............

None of the names have being changed to protect anybody..........

Brett.....

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Alan