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manusf3a

From Steaming Drunk To Focused Ready To Go And Exploding Into Action?

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What is it that makes a person who is staggering pissed out the head drunk  change instantly (or very nearly)into a focused sprinting into action staggering gone away, off the blocks sprinting into action individual?I know theres folk who say if you are three or more sheets to the wind load up on hot strong black coffee,others who suggest the use of an illegal stimulant or two ?However from the depths of my memory this weekend emerged a wonder cure for drunken uncordinated  slurringness,youre my best friend ,hug hug,your my brother you are,arent you all great loudly proclaiming to all who are in earshot type inebriation!

 

I had gone back to Corby for the day after the birthday nighter at Rugby with me mate Monny from Corby,during conversation later in the day   various things from early years  of course were discussed  as we go back a long way , I recounted an incident from my childhood to him and his mrs Christine that they both found amusing.Corby had a bad reputation (unwarranted)as a town when I was living there in my childhood into my  early later second childhood I being now in my fifth childhood.

 

One of my early mates was KeithHarpur now sadly gone r.i.p, of chemist robbing  and then later armed robbery infamy who moved to Norwich late seventies,Keith was a couple of years older than me and a  resident bad boy with a penchant for lighting large fires.I was about twelve or thirteen  and it was an early summers evening with us just hanging around looking for some mischief.Round the corner from my mums house was a social club and we could see that they were holding a wedding reception small groups of blokes dressed in their finest Sunday suits and tuxes were standing out side  blabbering ,putting arms round each other loudly proclaiming to each other"Your ma beeeshtesh mateesh you ish"type thing ,the odd stagger or uncordinated move betraying their level of intoxication.

 

I remembered my mum and dad were out somewhere and said to Harpur why not get some eggs from my house and chuck them at them, so off round the corner we went.Bingo we were in luck not only about four eggs in a box but a bag of flour as well so well pleased off we go.

 

 From across the road we shout over to a small group of four or five blokes gathered outside the club,"Hey you drunken bastards etc", throwing the eggs and the bag of flour at them and because theyre close together the salvo splatters over and into them with a great result ,I can still remember watching one of the eggs hit a bloke wearing a carnation splat on his chest and then the  flour spilling up like smoke over and around them.So we take off laughing like hell to then quickly realise that the drunken revellers are coming after us at the speed of light,so much for the thoughts that the drnken bastards will hardly be able to walk at a fast pace never mind run like linford bloody christie, "Bastards,get them", and worse rang out as they closed on us.Luckily there was a building site nearby that we knew  our way around a bit ,half finished flats parts of paths, footings etc(now called Steyning close)I followed keith as he run into the site closely followed by the raging angry pack I could almost hear their breathing and remember thinking oh no I am dead now .Keith Harpur disapears into the maze of buildings I turn a corner and the next minute I am looking up at the sky,Ive fa;llen into a trench and Im lying on the concrete foundation and it aint very wide I rememberabout  as wide as a grave.Then I hear the breathing and running movement looking up  as the baying mob after our blood leap and run over the trench of which about four foot down I am lying on my back.They didnt see me they were to busy chasing Harpur who they caught sight off.I waited ages after I heard them go till I got out having ripped a pair of olive sta press  but glad they didnt get me.I sneaked home and darent go out for the rest of the night as the club holding the reception was just round the corner.Next day I saw Harpur who had also managed to evade capture by doing some back garden hopping , he said they chased him for ages.My Mum and Dad came back later and next day discovered the missing eggs and flour which got me a slap round the ear or two as they knew I was out with Keith Harpur the night before and she  had various previous reports of egg throwing brought to her door over the earlier months.

 

So of all the so called cures for sobering up quickly I suggest get the person to dress in their best clothes then throw an egg and bag of flour at them,they will soon stop slurring and staggering!Then run like f.ck!!!!!!!!!

 

Ps .Many years later while living in Norwich Harpur still had a thing about throwing eggs and I am not ashamed to say I joined in with him on severel occasions but we didnt throw any more flour as by that time we had both learnt that when you rip the bag to make it explode better you often f.ck up your own clothes?The other thing I remebered was how surreal it seemed at the time,almost like in one of those adventure films,someones being pursued by a group of horsemen some distance behind but closing,so he turns a corner in the road,theres a bridge over a stream ,before the pursuers turn the corner and can see him  he dismounts,chases his horse off galloping like the wind down the track,he then climbs down the embankment and hides under the bridge,seconds later the chasers come hurtling across the bridge after to them not known a riderless horse,phew that was close,Harpur took the role of the riderless horse.

Edited by manusf3a

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Could be a mid 70ts thing throwing eggs, we use to load up with eggs and lob them off the top of the multi story car park, they would travel far enough that it didnt pin point where they came from, on a few occations we would drive by a group of people in my mates cortina 1600e and just lob them out the window - yea I know it's stupid now , but at the time it was fun

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Could be a mid 70ts thing throwing eggs, we use to load up with eggs and lob them off the top of the multi story car park, they would travel far enough that it didnt pin point where they came from, on a few occations we would drive by a group of people in my mates cortina 1600e and just lob them out the window - yea I know it's stupid now , but at the time it was fun

When I  moved to Norwich to live for a while after my good pal wilky was sent away on an extended holiday  on behalf of her maj "Gawd bless er!!!!!",I again teamed up with long term partner in crime Keith Harpur and although not having thrown an egg for quite a few years soon regained my proficiency in the art.You mention multi storey car parks ,indeed  they are wondrous

are  wondrous places Norwich.s being one, from which  to propel the thin shell encased  glooprous yuch fluid best clothes,depending on gender ,tuxez or dresses among other things they  can do,missiles.Like you say zoom soul pal ,there was something about the seventies as well as going to work on an egg there was something about  the decade that also said "Throw an egg at a workman".As I wrote concerning the baying mob of wedding party  goers and the trench,it could also be a very dangerous hobby and pastime if caught, those guys would have battered my worse than any bit of fish shop haddock if they caught me.I  got the idea if caught it would have meant more drastic for me than "You naughty rascal ,where do your parents live lad,we are taking you there right now!".So thanks to the blokes who dug and concreted that footing I am able to use my hands to type this account rather than blowing into a tube and winking a la  Steven Hawkins due to all the bones in my hands being pulverised when young! Wherever you are thank you diggers and groundworkers  whose  work back then  left me with the use of my  hands and able to speak without drool falling from one side of my mouth.Happy days,for the times I was at large to enjoy them ,course they bloody were,besides I was just getting to know what soul was all about a fair few of the towns top l;ads being regulars at wheel,then harboro and bletso,Iwas also hitch hiking over to the north park on soul nights withGeorge and harpur the world was my lobster!

Edited by manusf3a

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When I  moved to Norwich to live for a while after my good pal wilky was sent away on an extended holiday  on behalf of her maj "Gawd bless er!!!!!",I again teamed up with long term partner in crime Keith Harpur and although not having thrown an egg for quite a few years soon regained my proficiency in the art.You mention multi storey car parks ,indeed  they are wondrous

are  wondrous places Norwich.s being one, from which  to propel the thin shell encased  glooprous yuch fluid best clothes,depending on gender ,tuxez or dresses among other things they  can do,missiles.Like you say zoom soul pal ,there was something about the seventies as well as going to work on an egg there was something about  the decade that also said "Throw an egg at a workman".As I wrote concerning the baying mob of wedding party  goers and the trench,it could also be a very dangerous hobby and pastime if caught, those guys would have battered my worse than any bit of fish shop haddock if they caught me.I  got the idea if caught it would have meant more drastic for me than "You naughty rascal ,where do your parents live lad,we are taking you there right now!".So thanks to the blokes who dug and concreted that footing I am able to use my hands to type this account rather than blowing into a tube and winking a la  Steven Hawkins due to all the bones in my hands being pulverised when young! Wherever you are thank you diggers and groundworkers  whose  work back then  left me with the use of my  hands and able to speak without drool falling from one side of my mouth.Happy days,for the times I was at large to enjoy them ,course they bloody were,besides I was just getting to know what soul was all about a fair few of the towns top l;ads being regulars at wheel,then harboro and bletso,Iwas also hitch hiking over to the north park on soul nights with George and harpur the world was my lobster!

 

Ps.... Top prankster Georgina Archdeacon was about Norwich back then  and also became proficient at egg throwing.

Edited by manusf3a

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