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manusf3a

Slurp and Chomp how loud do you eat and does it matter

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I have a non soul  scene mate I have known for years by the name of Chink he has fallen on hard times in recent years having  been evicted from his council flat,the second time this has happened ,he has been told they will never house him again same goes for the local private housing groups and also the hostels .Chink has eneded up living with two other lads overcrowded in a so called flat which in reality is a tiny lounge with a small kitchen attached in one of those council three storey built for a large family type houses that has been bought up by private rachmanian landlords and converted by means of studwork and plasterboard into as many bedsits as possible ,at least they got the tiny kitchen added unlike the rest of the overcrowded three storeys,they still have to share the bog and bath though.One thing Chink has alway's been is a hater of what he calls uncouth eating behaviour'the mere hint of a slurp while drinking a cup of tea will bring from him a true clint eastwood type"Thousand yard death stare",God forbid if you even chomp slightly in his company!

Chink has been a good mate of mine for many years and I see him round mine at least a couple times a week when he come round for a coffee ,a verball  or to watch cable telly,I have of course known for a long time about his obsession with noisy eaters but over the last year or so when he has lived in close proximity to his two flatmates I have heard more and more about their eating habits,he has called one chomp and the other slurp but chomp also slurps and vice versa.I have been given graphic description of what he says is appalilng table manners the sheer height of uncouthness.Me I am reasonably easy going  as far as eating habits are concerned as I did spend many dinner breaks in the canteen,hut on building sites when bricklaying and witnessed and heard much ill manners there but there is a limit so I decided to go and see what Chink meant I called round his one evening when all three were there ,Chink and Chomp and Slurp ,the tiny sitting room held two smal  settes and a telly,each sette I discovered was a bed and the third man slept on the tiny kitchen floor.During the course of the visit I heard Slurp in action,every bloody sip,some drawn out some short but loads of them I looked at Chink cringing and heard him try to make Slurp aware of what he was doing,this fell on deaf ears.When eating burgers and chips both Slurp and Chomp excelled in grossness,Slurps mouth was open when chewing(and talking part of the time,the contents like some crazy cement mixer being churned round and chomped on,Chomp excelled Slurp,parts of his food that strayed from the open mouth on to his upper lip or just to the side of the mouth were retrieved by a flick of a reptilian type tounge to go back into the mixer,Chomp worked as a jcb driver and kept saying without stopping churning  how much he loved his food,I thought to myself Chomp would have fitted in  some of the site canteens I had ate in, someone as ill mannered as Chomp would have become the main show at dinner break and would have been watched closely for the amusement of everyone there.Both Chomp and Slurp interspersed the mixing session with big loud slurps of tea punctuating everything with the odd comment of two or the ilk"Cor look at er,wouldnt do er wiv yours directed at the telly.

I used to think Chink was making a bit much of things,after all the lad whose bedsit it was had let Chink and his other mate stay there rent free(how could he have charged them?) so surely putting up with a couple of little bad habits wasnt all that bad,I would  now and again when h Chink  was at mine make a slurping noise on purpose,same with a chomp just to see the red rag to a bull reaction on his face  even though I was joking.Now however I fully empathize with Chink when it comes to eating habits and what he has to put up with from Slurp and Chomp.I believe in being diplomatic especially if it is a person I know and try to point out the', what I consider to be noisy slurping,chomping,mixer impressions or facial food painting they happen to be doing when eating and drinking,some refuse to listen or think you are taking the piss,that is certainly the case with Chinks flatmates.Admittedly my mate Chink may be too quick to leap upon any what he sees as a deviation from "proper",manners  unlike him I dont really even notice some of the stuff he does but I do believe if its a friend or family mamber you should tell them if they do eat or drink in a certain way rather than let them go on and have folk take the piss etc,but it is not one  of the most easiest of positions to find yourself in having to tell someone not to chomp or slurp and to leave the mixer on the site after work is finished for the day.

Edited by manusf3a

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I sometimes slurp tea, I burb quite a lot too, and now having lost three of my wisdom teeth and most of my wisdom, I chew with my front teeth, but I do at least keep my mouth closed whilst doing it.  A trait that doesn't follow through into most other parts of my life, especially when trying to listen to someone else's view point, then I'm more likely to take on the look of a slack jawed yokel or gurn, I put that down to being in training for my retirement job of village idiot when I'll be paid to fall off walls for tourists.

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I have a non soul  scene mate I have known for years by the name of Chink he has fallen on hard times in recent years having  been evicted from his council flat,the second time this has happened ,he has been told they will never house him again same goes for the local private housing groups and also the hostels .Chink has eneded up living with two other lads overcrowded in a so called flat which in reality is a tiny lounge with a small kitchen attached in one of those council three storey built for a large family type houses that has been bought up by private rachmanian landlords and converted by means of studwork and plasterboard into as many bedsits as possible ,at least they got the tiny kitchen added unlike the rest of the overcrowded three storeys,they still have to share the bog and bath though.One thing Chink has alway's been is a hater of what he calls uncouth eating behaviour'the mere hint of a slurp while drinking a cup of tea will bring from him a true clint eastwood type"Thousand yard death stare",God forbid if you even chomp slightly in his company!

Chink has been a good mate of mine for many years and I see him round mine at least a couple times a week when he come round for a coffee ,a verball  or to watch cable telly,I have of course known for a long time about his obsession with noisy eaters but over the last year or so when he has lived in close proximity to his two flatmates I have heard more and more about their eating habits,he has called one chomp and the other slurp but chomp also slurps and vice versa.I have been given graphic description of what he says is appalilng table manners the sheer height of uncouthness.Me I am reasonably easy going  as far as eating habits are concerned as I did spend many dinner breaks in the canteen,hut on building sites when bricklaying and witnessed and heard much ill manners there but there is a limit so I decided to go and see what Chink meant I called round his one evening when all three were there ,Chink and Chomp and Slurp ,the tiny sitting room held two smal  settes and a telly,each sette I discovered was a bed and the third man slept on the tiny kitchen floor.During the course of the visit I heard Slurp in action,every bloody sip,some drawn out some short but loads of them I looked at Chink cringing and heard him try to make Slurp aware of what he was doing,this fell on deaf ears.When eating burgers and chips both Slurp and Chomp excelled in grossness,Slurps mouth was open when chewing(and talking part of the time,the contents like some crazy cement mixer being churned round and chomped on,Chomp excelled Slurp,parts of his food that strayed from the open mouth on to his upper lip or just to the side of the mouth were retrieved by a flick of a reptilian type tuonge to go back into the mixer,Chomp worked as a jcb driver and kept saying without stopping churning  how much he loved his food,I thought to myself Chomp would have fitted in  some of the site canteens I had ate in, someone as ill mannered as Chomp would have become the main show at dinner break and would have been watched closely for the amusement of everyone there.Both Chomp and Slurp interspersed the mixing session with big loud slurps of tea punctuating everything with the odd comment of two or the ilk"Cor look at er,wouldnt do er wiv yours directed at the telly.

I used to think Chink was making a bit much of things,after all the lad whose bedsit it was had let Chink and his other mate stay there rent free(how could he have charged?) so surely putting up with a couple of little bad habits wasnt all that bad,I would  now and again when he was at mine make a slurping noise on purpose,same with a chomp just to see the red rag to a bull reaction on his face  even though I was joking.Now however I fully empathize with Chink when it comes to eating habits and what he has to put up with from Slurp and Chomp.I believe in being diplomatic especially if it is a person I know and try to point out the', what I consider to be noisy slurping,chomping,mixer impressions or facial food painting they happen to be doing when eating and drinking,some refuse to listen or think you are taking the piss,that is certainly the case with Chinks flatmates.Admittedly my mate Chink may be too quick to leap upon any what he sees as a deviation from "proper",manners  unlike him I dont really even notice some of the stuff he does but I do believe if its a friend or family mamber you should tell them if they do eat or drink in a certain way rather than let them go on and have folk take the piss etc,but it is not one  of the most easiest of positions to find yourself in having to tell someone not to chomp or slurp and to leave the mixer on the site after work is finished for the day.

:lol::lol::lol:

Nice one Manus. 

I have good table manners by the way.

Peter

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I do suck the heads of good prawns - like  the Spanish!

:elvis:

OOerr missus, is that a euphemism?

I am always giving my kids stick for chamming, my middle one has a constant stream of saliva when he's chewing, and the amount of times he'll dribble if he starts talking with a gob full......it just winds me up, and the thought that they eat like that when I'm not there fills me with dread. Apart from that they're spectacularly good, so I aways feel a right mooey f*cker whingeing about it.

There is absolutely NO excuse for adults eating like that though, surely?

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Like Dave I can from time to time slurp a bit of tea but nothing to earthshattering overall I think I am pretty normal as far as eating habits.One thing I do tend to do from time time is have an involuntary whistle insert itself into my speech or sometimes even breaking the silence,this the result of my false teeth full set top and bottom.When at nighters,soul nights etc I quite often take my teeth out when really getting into it,it is at these times that the odd whistle can turn into my impression  of a flute band I whistle so much through my chompers.Never had any trouble eating with falsies even steak  one thing I cant do which my full set mate can is eat an apple,still hes had false gnashers longer than me,years longer.I just love certain words,"Gnashers" ,is one

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Like Dave I can from time to time slurp a bit of tea but nothing to earthshattering overall I think I am pretty normal as far as eating habits.One thing I do tend to do from time time is have an involuntary whistle insert itself into my speech or sometimes even breaking the silence,this the result of my false teeth full set top and bottom.When at nighters,soul nights etc I quite often take my teeth out when really getting into it,it is at these times that the odd whistle can turn into my impression  of a flute band I whistle so much through my chompers.Never had any trouble eating with falsies even steak  one thing I cant do which my full set mate can is eat an apple,still hes had false gnashers longer than me,years longer.I just love certain words,"Gnashers" ,is one

I've had partial dentures before, I bit the bottom plate in half at an allnighter whilst gurning, the top plate had four teeth on it, now has one as I ate the others when peckish, well not exactly, apparently I have a hard bite, and Bruxism, brought on by stimulant abuse as a teenager:hypo:.  The problem comes when food inadvertently gets underneath the plate and you end up having to lick the food off without making it look obvious, so that the plate can get back to where it should be.  It's a bit like the etiquette of disposing of cherry or olive pits, or grape seeds for that matter, as long as no-one is looking spit them out, but in polite company, if in fact you know any (and I'm not pointing my finger at anyone (it's rude to point)), behave like a civilised human being and not a Neanderthal, and use your manners.

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I was brought up to chew my food  with my mouth closed and not to speak with my mouth full. 

More the pity most of today's kids eating habits are likened to cows chewing the cud and repeatedly talking with the mouths full of food. Table manners cost nothing.

Steve

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I've had partial dentures before, I bit the bottom plate in half at an allnighter whilst gurning, the top plate had four teeth on it, now has one as I ate the others when peckish, well not exactly, apparently I have a hard bite, and Bruxism, brought on by stimulant abuse as a teenager:hypo:.  The problem comes when food inadvertently gets underneath the plate and you end up having to lick the food off without making it look obvious, so that the plate can get back to where it should be.  It's a bit like the etiquette of disposing of cherry or olive pits, or grape seeds for that matter, as long as no-one is looking spit them out, but in polite company, if in fact you know any (and I'm not pointing my finger at anyone (it's rude to point)), behave like a civilised human being and not a Neanderthal, and use your manners.

Ive had two plates break in half Save,one at an all nighter actually the other when I dropped it in the sink and out of all the ways it could land this one time caused it to break in half,it was the bottom plate each time.II changed my dentist last year and since then he has made new both top and bottom plates for me and they fit much better and are comfortable to wear.

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I've had partial dentures before, I bit the bottom plate in half at an allnighter whilst gurning, the top plate had four teeth on it, now has one as I ate the others when peckish, well not exactly, apparently I have a hard bite, and Bruxism, brought on by stimulant abuse as a teenager:hypo:.  The problem comes when food inadvertently gets underneath the plate and you end up having to lick the food off without making it look obvious, so that the plate can get back to where it should be.  It's a bit like the etiquette of disposing of cherry or olive pits, or grape seeds for that matter, as long as no-one is looking spit them out, but in polite company, if in fact you know any (and I'm not pointing my finger at anyone (it's rude to point)), behave like a civilised human being and not a Neanderthal, and use your manners.

Quite right mate,manners dont cost anything 

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Chink, Chomp and Slurp.  Sounds like a kids cartoon, Manus.

Nicknames can be strange Steve and given for many reasons,I like the ones with a bit of history to them.When I first moved to Peterborough I knew a bloke called Tin Man and for ages didnt ask but wondered where his nickname come from,I imagined all sorts of things connected too the wizard of oz and yellow brick roads ,when I eventualy asked Tin Man himself the answer was a simple he always had a can of beer in his hand hence Tin Man,bit disapointing really.Tin Man though r.i.p is no more bless him.There was also a girl called Bulldog Linda or Bacon Chops(this was the name of Dennis the menaces pet pig at one time I believe.) sometimes simply Linda Bacon.A well known face round the town who fought and looked like a bloke,legend has it she once bottled a lad round town after he refused to make puppies with her round the back of the pub.I always thought she had a soft heart deep down and could be very sociable at times.Sadly too Linda has just recentl;y passed on.

 

I guess there are loads of local celebrities with nicknames in all our towns and cities ,it would be unusual not to have them.threy add to the colour of the place./

Edited by manusf3a

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Nicknames can be strange Steve and given for many reasons,I like the ones with a bit of history to them.When I first moved to Peterborough I knew a bloke called Tin Man and for ages didnt ask but wondered where his nickname come from,I imagined all sorts of things connected too the wizard of oz and yellow brick roads ,when I eventualy asked Tin Man himself the answer was a simple he always had a can of beer in his hand hence Tin Man,bit disapointing really.Tin Man though r.i.p is no more bless him.There was also a girl called Bulldog Linda or Bacon Chops(this was the name of Dennis the menaces pet pig at one time I believe.) sometimes simply Linda Bacon.A well known face round the town who fought and looked like a bloke,legend has it she once bottled a lad round town after he refused to make puppies with her round the back of the pub.I always thought she had a soft heart deep down and could be very sociable at times.Sadly too Linda has just recentl;y passed on.

 

I guess there are loads of local celebrities with nicknames in all our towns and cities ,it would be unusual not to have them.threy add to the colour of the place./

I can always remember joining my first ship, HMS Bulwark, or "The Rusty B" as it was affectionately known.  There were some right characters on there, none more so than Steve "Kitbag" Keeley.  Don't know why he got the nickname Kitbag, but he was, apparently, a real Jekyll and Hyde character.  An absolute animal when on a run ashore, but the complete opposite when he went home on leave, having a very well to do girlfriend by all accounts.  When on board, he possessed one set of civvies, a pair of manky ill fitting jeans, and a black (washed out grey) T-shirt.  One incident involved Kitbag standing in a pub, talking to two young ladies, when a damp patch suddenly appeared around his crotch, and gradually got bigger and bigger,  Kitbag just carried on talking as though nothing was happening, until his companions eventually noticed a puddle on the floor.  The Kitbag was never short of people to go ashore with, more out of curiosity than anything else.

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Ive had two plates break in half Save,one at an all nighter actually the other when I dropped it in the sink and out of all the ways it could land this one time caused it to break in half,it was the bottom plate each time.II changed my dentist last year and since then he has made new both top and bottom plates for me and they fit much better and are comfortable to wear.

I have a pathological fear of dentists after having a bad reaction to gas as a child, and will avoid them as much as I can, but my grinding is wearing my teeth down to stumps and I hate the idea of implants, crowns or root canals, so I'll soldier on until I resemble Snaggletooth, that way my job as village idiot will be a doddle.

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I have a pathological fear of dentists after having a bad reaction to gas as a child, and will avoid them as much as I can, but my grinding is wearing my teeth down to stumps and I hate the idea of implants, crowns or root canals, so I'll soldier on until I resemble Snaggletooth, that way my job as village idiot will be a doddle.

Grinding is what caused me to end up with full plate dentures Dave.I remeber watching from dusk till dawn for the first time many years back and thinking I couls do with that on seeing Quinton Tarantino being giving a bit by George Clooney to stop him grinding.

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Grinding is what caused me to end up with full plate dentures Dave.I remeber watching from dusk till dawn for the first time many years back and thinking I couls do with that on seeing Quinton Tarantino being giving a bit by George Clooney to stop him grinding.

I was offered a night guard by my dentist, I told him I don't grind my teeth when asleep as I'm a poor sleeper because of tinnitus, but I do grind them when I'm dancing.  He just looked at me as if I was a creature from outer space, as in what kind of person in his mid 50's goes dancing all night.  Bless him, he's not very old and doesn't understand.

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Chink, Chomp and Slurp.  Sounds like a kids cartoon, Manus.

It would also make a cracking ring tone, you would not want it as a screen saver though two gaping open mouths revealing technicolour chomping and swirling going on with the occasional splash over the side of the mixture.Both Chomp and Slurp have girlfriends who they go round to have so they say"a meal with",now and again!I bet thats romantic for the women involved!By the way Slurp has a small jack russel cross that when it gets fed is always being told by Slurp to eat nice! and not attack her food?Three man and a dog in a bedsit,it would make a good situation comedy,Slurp actually looks like Crusty the Clowns double apart from having a huge nose,the hair the rest of the features and posture,spitting or should I say "Slurping image!".

Edited by manusf3a

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It would also make a cracking ring tone, you would not want it as a screen saver though two gaping open mouths revealing technicolour chomping and swirling going on with the occasional splash over the side of the mixture.Both Chomp and Slurp have girlfriends who they go round to have so they say"a meal with",now and again!I bet thats romantic for the women involved!By the way Slurp has a small jack russel cross that when it gets fed is always being told by Slurp to eat nice! and not attack her food?

Mine insists on wiping his whiskers and mouth on a rug after eating, not really the done thing, but he will sit down for his post walk treat, which he gets whether he behaves himself or not.DSC00081.thumb.png.dd2b45549f37465846b57

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Mine insists on wiping his whiskers and mouth on a rug after eating, not really the done thing, but he will sit down for his post walk treat, which he gets whether he behaves himself or not.DSC00081.thumb.png.dd2b45549f37465846b57

Great photo Dave,if it wasn't for my mate Chink Shadow the the jack russel would not get to go for walks every day,Chink is very much a dog person and over the last year Shadow shows more for Chink than Slurp and now hardly does anything Slurp tells her although she didnt do much before.Shadow is all over Chink and goes mad when he comes in yet when Slurps been out and returns just lies on the floor at Chinks feet  much to the anoyance of Slurp.Shadow has aquired much better behaviour since Chink has been there and bonded with him better because he put the time in with her that slurp didnt and also knows a lot more about dogs.

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I was brought up to chew my food  with my mouth closed and not to speak with my mouth full. 

More the pity most of today's kids eating habits are likened to cows chewing the cud and repeatedly talking with the mouths full of food. Table manners cost nothing.

Steve

A look in Mac Dees or any of the fast food places or on the street eating all sorts of tooth rot and rip off foodstuffs supports your views on childrens eating habit these days a great many seem to be going without any instructions in manners.Still its become a greed ridden society and slamming and squashing as much as possible as fast as possible into your gob could be viewed as a sign of greed manifesting itself and after all folk are being told to be Greedy by all they see around that message constnatly reinforced by media,the behaviour of the"Top people",in the divide and conquer strategies implamented from above in the lofty towers of those who cannot ever be prosecuted,greed is good !

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Totally acceptable after the first sup of tea, but not after every sup.  Bordering on OCD.

Sort of loses its effect if done more than once with each cup as you say after the first sup of the first cup after  anticipating one for some time,brilliant very fitting,first sip of the first cup of the day gets a "Umaumumum " from me evrey day.I also really like the first cup when getting back from a nighter that too is ",Um a UM UM U,M"capital letters this time to distinguish between those mornings and everyday wake up have a cuppa mornings.

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Sort of loses its effect if done more than once with each cup as you say after the first sup of the first cup after  anticipating one for some time,brilliant very fitting,first sip of the first cup of the day gets a "Umaumumum " from me evrey day.I also really like the first cup when getting back from a nighter that too is ",Um a UM UM U,M"capital letters this time to distinguish between those mornings and everyday wake up have a cuppa mornings.

Also, a smack of the lips after finishing off the aforementioned hot beverage is more than acceptable.

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Great photo Dave,if it wasn't for my mate Chink Shadow the the jack russel would not get to go for walks every day,Chink is very much a dog person and over the last year Shadow shows more for Chink than Slurp and now hardly does anything Slurp tells her although she didnt do much before.Shadow is all over Chink and goes mad when he comes in yet when Slurps been out and returns just lies on the floor at Chinks feet  much to the anoyance of Slurp.Shadow has aquired much better behaviour since Chink has been there and bonded with him better because he put the time in with her that slurp didnt and also knows a lot more about dogs.

Happy (the dog) likes everyone, which is fine by me, but tolerates some more than others, he has pretty good manners for a dog, if you forget about his licking pee off the pavement and lampposts, dry humping his bed and his ever so occasional fart!

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The washing machine effect turns my stomach too this day,slammed a full school dinner into kid who sat opposite, told him to quit,he never took hint,hence he had my lunch as well 

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The washing machine effect turns my stomach too this day,slammed a full school dinner into kid who sat opposite, told him to quit,he never took hint,hence he had my lunch as well 

I hope you said sorry:wicked: You could blame it on Tourette's, I believe it can be carried off effectively with practise.

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I would like to add, dave it was over 37 yr ago and I am a bit more diplomatic now. 

Edited by tenuate
misspelled

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I was offered a night guard by my dentist, I told him I don't grind my teeth when asleep as I'm a poor sleeper because of tinnitus, but I do grind them when I'm dancing.  He just looked at me as if I was a creature from outer space, as in what kind of person in his mid 50's goes dancing all night.  Bless him, he's not very old and doesn't understand.

Here's one for you, Dave......

61HKFBMvuML.jpg

 

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Spoke to my mate Chink on the phone last night,I could actually here Slurp and Chomp in action using their mouths as washing machines and cement mixers,interspersed with"Ear oo's that on the phone "Anyone ya kin get a tap off",Slurp in slighlly lowered voice muttered(Slurp is always on the tap for money and I am suprised he hasnt yet sold his dog,Slurp I may add has a vocabulary of mainly"Pukka pipe,yeh I checked them all all and got the biggest,pukka rock ,pukka rock hey pukka bloody rock and pukka pipes which tells you why he always want cash and his bedsit is devoid of all but the most basic amenities!Chink knows he Chink  is there for rent free in one sense but that his pay day falls different from Slurps and Slurp can then hit Chink for the cash to go searching for the," pukkerest", as he call's it pipe he can find for a tenner or twenty quid.I debated with Chink a few times over whether we should leave a large rock or concrete masonry rubbish or a bit of old drainpipe  at the door one time and chink would go in and tell him someone has left a huge "F off" pukker rock or massive pipe! at the door for him then Chink could see the result when Slurp discovered his"Gift" was a discarded chunk of masonry or a bit of pipe that should be part of a sewer system running underground or a large bit of old drainpipe ,that would get Slurp back a bit for his annoying habits.Glad I am not living there ,F en right I am.

 

I had not heard the word "Pukka",for years and then never knew anyone use it as much as Slurp in his continual quest to send his money up in smoke for a few minutes of who knows what,but it is as he says"Pukker", he is also well on the way to the locked ward as his suspicion level is massive and he often walks round the tiny bedsit according to chink with a shovel? in his hands muttering about dark and distant in the past enemies who may be seeking him out,heard this sort of thing many times as I guess a lot of folk on here have only not for a long long time! On the few occassions I have been in the area and called round for Chink each time I was asked"Why dont you come round more often ...yeh....and get all my fags smoked and asked for a tenner sub Ive no chance of ever again seeing course I will.

All these different worlds going on around us some we see some we dont same as those who inhabit them ,some we know some we dont! slurping and chomping can span them all. 

Edited by manusf3a

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