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Rick Scott

John Cooper Clarke-Mad man or sheer genius

Have you seen him live or are there any any favourites bits of poetry by the guy you will always remember, very clever, and very funny man. 

 

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Never get a poet started. They never shut up 😊

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Surprised to hear one of his tracks was used in an episode of the Sopranos. Eccentric Manc. 

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Often mentions that he was a Twisted Wheel member.

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Youll find all kinds of ugliness  in hideous excess, but youll never see a nipple  in the daily express

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Some haven't got a good word for him, but I have - genius!

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Beasley Street ......... the mans a genius ! Inspired by Pam Ayres apparently.

 

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Hes the only person ive ever heard of had a sick note with amphetamine psychosis as the diagnosis , and kept his job!  Heres his most recent i believe, commisioned by plan b for the film ill manors 

 

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Guest Spain pete

Prefer the last poets , the white man's got a god complex . 🎶:rofl:. THIS IS MADNESS .😱

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Just for the record, so to speak, this is the poem I paraphrased in my contribution.

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2 minutes ago, Spain pete said:

Prefer the last poets , the white man's got a god complex . 🎶:rofl:. THIS IS MADNESS .😱

Last Poets are righteous without a doubt Pete - but I find J C-C makes me laugh out loud - the 'Poet's not so much!

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See what I mean....

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Always a slip of a man who'd have to run around in the shower to get wet  - I like the story he tells about when he was walking through Manchester city centre after he'd recently come off drugs and somebody shouted at him "hey John, get back on the heroin you fat b*stard!"

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He was no bigger than a twopenny fart 

A deft exponent of the martial art .

 

Genius 

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Salome Maloney.... genius!

 

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Genius , saw him live numerous times , but only had a camera with me on one occasion , at the "Beat the Blues" festival at Alexandra Palace in June 1980 ... :thumbsup:

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5 minutes ago, WoodButcher said:

Genius , saw him live numerous times , but only had a camera with me on one occasion , at the "Beat the Blues" festival at Alexandra Palace in June 1980 ... :thumbsup:

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Nice photos!

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In homage to John Cooper-Clarke, and taking inspiration from the profound statement (in the Rise of the NEW soulie thread) "Original vinyl only my arse"....

 

Original Vinyl Only

 

The glossy flyer proclaimed “Original Vinyl Only”

But when I got inside it was a right old load of pony

The promoter was a fraud, the deejay was a phoney

As he dropped the needle on a booted copy of Hey Sah-Lo-Ney.

 

The glossy flyer also stated “Rare and Underplayed”

If that had been the case, then I might have stayed

I marched up to the deejay and started my tirade

If this is rare and underplayed, then I’m about to piss on your parade.

 

The glossy flyer proudly stated “Talcum Powder Allowed”

When I walked onto the dance floor, I was enveloped in a cloud

I totally disappeared in this sickly smelling shroud

More than enough of the perfumed stuff to make Johnson and Johnson proud.

 

The glossy flyer informed me “8pm ‘til late”

By nine ‘o’ clock the talc and tunes had really started to grate

The glossy flyer had hooked me, and I’d taken the bait

First Friday of every month, now that’s a f*cking date.

  • Up vote 13

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Brilliant Steve!!! So sums up what is Dead right about how the Scene has become today, in a Light Hearted and Jovial Way Of Course, You should get up on the stage and grab the mic at a few more venues like this one and tell it like it is as well as how it should be in the shape of poetry, Go on, you know you want to, though be sure to take some bandages and plasters with you. 😫 

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Seen him three times I think, but only since his return to form in the 90s. In a BBC TV documentary I think he said he'd had writer's block for years after getting clean.   In a radio show with Peter Hook he touched on what a mess he'd been, a low point being when he had half the Velvet Underground crashing with him which was very uncool and unglamorous because of the constant need to obtain drugs. 

He's back now and as good as ever, one of my faves is "it's going to get worse":

"Euthanasia - that sounds good

An alpine neutral neighbourhood

Then back to Britain all dressed in wood"

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Saw him in 2016 in Manchester, brilliant, his updated version of Beasley Street was pure class, not sure if it is on YouTube but his appearance on Countdown was pretty funny. Toss up between Twat and I Married a Monster from Outer Space for my favourite poem mainly because they are easy to recommend to people who don't know him but that changes every time I listen to a cd or read one of his books.

Somewhere I've got an early different version of one of his classics in a Poetry creative writing Fanzine but can't bring to mind which or how different it is ,long time since I read it, I'll search it out and if it is a lot different I'll post it up if anyone's interested.

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 I love the guy , Health Fanatic , Hire car ,    Burnley ,    more recently theres a youtube clip  entitled " the dangers of using computers "   Absolutely Hilarious . ( sorry , will have to learn how to put clips up one day )  Spent an  afternoon with him many years ago . The jokes , friendliness and funny  turn of phrase  are completely natural ,and pretty much none stop. A  lovely, lovely man , The Greatest   Living Salfordian ?  I.m.h.o. yes.

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Great short film here from Granada TV 1977 if you haven't seen it before. Saw him on a memorable double bill with The Fall a few years back, some night 😀

 

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Very nice that Chris, not seen that before, although have to say there's still got a lot to go at on YouTube,

By the way, did The Fall do Totally Wired in their set, I know it's an old track of theirs which i remember from the J P Radio Show Evenings and still think it is One Funky Tune 😀

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Some Tw@t Played A Bootleg

 

The hall was rammed, the floor was jammed

Then some tw@t played a bootleg

They’d never have known, if they hadn’t been shown

That the tw@t was playing a bootleg

On a six foot screen, everybody had seen

That the tw@t had played a bootleg

They called for blood, they’d lynch him if they could

Because the tw@t had played a bootleg

Don’t you know that it’s O – V – O

You tw@t, you played a bootleg

Many chins were stroked, and fingers were poked

On the night some tw@t played a bootleg.

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1 hour ago, RICK SCOTT said:

Very nice that Chris, not seen that before, although have to say there's still got a lot to go at on YouTube,

By the way, did The Fall do Totally Wired in their set, I know it's an old track of theirs which i remember from the J P Radio Show Evenings and still think it is One Funky Tune 😀

Hi Rick, it's from a Granada TV special shown around 1987 with loads of brilliant clips of Clash, Fall, Jam, Penetration, Iggy, etc live around Manchester c. 1977, mostly from Tony Wilson shows such as So It Goes - see link below for full programme - hope it copies OK

Saw The Fall a few times but don't recall then doing many of the 'hits' - mostly just MES staggering on with a can of Tennent's Extra. Various mike stands positioned around the stage and he just sang into whichever was nearest. Totally mad but great fun

https://dangerousminds.net/comments/the_best_of_so_it_goes_clash_sex_pistols_iggy_the_fall_joy_division_and_mor

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2 hours ago, Chris Turnbull said:

Hi Rick, it's from a Granada TV special shown around 1987 with loads of brilliant clips of Clash, Fall, Jam, Penetration, Iggy, etc live around Manchester c. 1977, mostly from Tony Wilson shows such as So It Goes - see link below for full programme - hope it copies OK

Saw The Fall a few times but don't recall then doing many of the 'hits' - mostly just MES staggering on with a can of Tennent's Extra. Various mike stands positioned around the stage and he just sang into whichever was nearest. Totally mad but great fun

https://dangerousminds.net/comments/the_best_of_so_it_goes_clash_sex_pistols_iggy_the_fall_joy_division_and_mor

Cheers Chris

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Just saw him here in NYC, stellar night, he's still captivating and totally on the money, plus as funny as f***, definitely recommended if you get the chance.

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Last one from me, and apologies to JCC....

 

Soulie Maloney

 

His name is Soulie Maloney and he wears a pork pie hat

With his vest and baggy trousers he looks a proper tw*t

He says he went to Wigan, the Mecca, Torch and Wheel

Cleethorpes, Morecambe, Stafford, Clifton Hall and Keele

I’m afraid I beg to differ, I strongly disagree

You lying tw*t in your pork pie hat, you’re only forty three.

 

Now Soulie has a partner, they call her Twirly Shirley

She’s got more holes in her knickers than a Cadbury’s Curly Wurly

Whenever she is spinning and her circle skirt starts to lift

It’s like the Hammer House of Horrors, if you get my drift

The only saving grace is the white mist that surrounds her

As her gyrations create a billowing mass of Johnson’s Baby Powder.

 

At all the Northern venues, you’ll see them with their crew

I pity any poor deejay who doesn’t have “Just Loving You”

And lest we forget, no record collection would be complete

Without a copy of Moses Smith “The Girl Across The Street”

To keep the soul crew happy, you’ve got to know the score

“Tainted Love”, “There’s A Ghost In My House” and “Out On The F*cking Floor”.

Edited by Steve S 60
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Brilliant Steve ... :thumbup:

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2 minutes ago, WoodButcher said:

Brilliant Steve ... :thumbup:

It's only reading this thread that's got me into John Cooper Clarke.  I'll have to look out for more of his stuff.

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COME ON STEVE YOU KNOW CAN YOU FINISH THIS OFF:

 

Outside a nighter, Saturday night,

A baggy trousered dickhead asked me for a light........

Edited by soulman

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3 minutes ago, soulman said:

COME ON STEVE YOU KNOW CAN YOU FINISH THIS OFF:

 

Outside a nighter, Saturday night,

A baggy trousered dickhead asked me for a light........

He must have been the thickest f*cker that I had ever met

As I took another drag on my e-cigarette.

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Just now, Steve S 60 said:

He must have been the thickest f*cker that I had ever met

As I took another drag on my e-cigarette.

His missus wore a circle skirt, the fashion was uncanny

In fact it could be said it had more pleats than her f*nny

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OK, just one more from me........

Soul Bags

The anticipation was immense as
I ordered my very first pair of Spencer’s
I can’t describe the utter pleasure
£12.95 for made to measure
Wake me from my reverie
75p for Royal Mail delivery
Or an extra two nicker to get them quicker
I'd jump through hoops for those tunnel loops
And three crown flaps that overlap
On the edge of my seat for the triple pleats
Overwhelming joy for the grey corduroy
My absolute pride in those forty inch wide strides
Forget your straights, zoots or pegs
I want some soul bags around my legs
It'll certainly be my privilege
Messrs R & E Spencer of Sowerby Bridge.

  • Up vote 5

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41 minutes ago, Steve S 60 said:

OK, just one more from me........

Soul Bags

The anticipation was immense as
I ordered my very first pair of Spencer’s
I can’t describe the utter pleasure
£12.95 for made to measure
Wake me from my reverie
75p for Royal Mail delivery
Or an extra two nicker to get them quicker
I'd jump through hoops for those tunnel loops
And three crown flaps that overlap
On the edge of my seat for the triple pleats
Overwhelming joy for the grey corduroy
My absolute pride in those forty inch wide strides
Forget your straights, zoots or pegs
I want some soul bags around my legs
It'll certainly be my privilege
Messrs R & E Spencer of Sowerby Bridge.

Best one I reckon - superb effort, worthy of the great man himself

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On 06/05/2018 at 19:16, Steve S 60 said:

In homage to John Cooper-Clarke, and taking inspiration from the profound statement (in the Rise of the NEW soulie thread) "Original vinyl only my arse"....

 

Original Vinyl Only

 

The glossy flyer proclaimed “Original Vinyl Only”

But when I got inside it was a right old load of pony

The promoter was a fraud, the deejay was a phoney

As he dropped the needle on a booted copy of Hey Sah-Lo-Ney.

 

The glossy flyer also stated “Rare and Underplayed”

If that had been the case, then I might have stayed

I marched up to the deejay and started my tirade

If this is rare and underplayed, then I’m about to piss on your parade.

 

The glossy flyer proudly stated “Talcum Powder Allowed”

When I walked onto the dance floor, I was enveloped in a cloud

I totally disappeared in this sickly smelling shroud

More than enough of the perfumed stuff to make Johnson and Johnson proud.

 

The glossy flyer informed me “8pm ‘til late”

By nine ‘o’ clock the talc and tunes had really started to grate

The glossy flyer had hooked me, and I’d taken the bait

First Friday of every month, now that’s a f*cking date.

Superb

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13 hours ago, Steve S 60 said:

 

Top drawer stuff Steve, keep them coming lad!

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1 hour ago, Rich B said:

Top drawer stuff Steve, keep them coming lad!

Plenty of inspiration on here Rich, and the drugs are starting to kick in.

Edited by Steve S 60
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Steve , You are a Poetry Star My Friend, It's a shame JCC Can't get to see Your Poetry on here, I am sure he would be well impressed, Bloody Marvellous.

UK SOUL, pissed myself with yours too as well, it's so bloody true and happens all the time so well done the pair of you!.... Rick

Edited by RICK SCOTT
more text
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17 hours ago, Steve S 60 said:

He says he went to Wigan, the Mecca, Torch and Wheel

Cleethorpes, Morecambe, Stafford, Clifton Hall and Keele

Good stuff there especially liked this couplet 

  • Up vote 1

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After watching some of JCC's videos posted up on here, I now get loads of his stuff intermingled with other suggestions every time I watch anything on YouTube.  I was curious to know what this one was all about......

John Cooper Clarke - Bongo's Trousers.....

 

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Definitely the last one from me, and taking inspiration from the last clip (Bongo's Trousers), while also paying tribute to the reigning World Over 35's Northern Soul Dance Champion....

 

Jon Mo’s Trousers

 

Who made Jon Mo’s trousers, it must have taken a while?

By the time he got them finished, they could have been back in style.

Who made Jon Mo’s trousers?  They must have cost a bomb,

Worth every penny as he wears them with aplomb.

Who made Jon Mo’s trousers, the Eighth Wonder of the World,

They really are magnificent when they are unfurled.

Who made Jon Mo’s trousers, I really am impressed,

They’re back in vogue with leather brogues and patches on your vest.

Who made Jon Mo’s trousers, and can I get a pair?

I’d be the envy of all my mates, everyone would stop and stare.

Who made those baggy britches, those wondrous pantaloons,

Those glorious kecks, those stupendous strides, those gabardine festoons.

Who made Jon Mo’s trousers, they’re just my cup of tea,

If they’re good enough for World Champions, they’re good enough for me.

  • Up vote 7

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"What is occasional furniture the rest of the time?"....................sheer genius.........

John Cooper Clarke - Hire Car (Jazz Cafe Camden)

 

Edited by back street blue
correct misquote
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How deep would the sea be if there weren't any sponges...... Classic!  

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Disguise In Love remains one of my best 10 non-soul/funk/jazz related LP's, bought as a new release days after hearing Peel play New Tracksuit and Health Fanatic. If a JCC thread gets this much attention then I am assuming there will be a healthy volume of former Peel listeners on here, in which case you may well enjoy these two pieces of work by yours truly. Anyone else on this soul forum got any of the 10 records shown?

 

 

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11 minutes ago, Martin S said:

 If a JCC thread gets this much attention then I am assuming there will be a healthy volume of former Peel listeners on here, in which case you may well enjoy these two pieces of work by yours truly. Anyone else on this soul forum got any of the 10 records shown?

 

 

Got the UK Decay "Black 45" EP along with their first outing the 'Split single' alongside Pneumania ... :thumbsup:

Edited by WoodButcher
missed a bit
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I have never seen a copy of the Split Single and didn't hear it at the time of release. I saw UK Decay at least three times, the two dates I have logged are 4/12/81 supporting Theatre Of Hate @ Central London Poly, plus 23/2/82 supporting Killing Joke @ Hammersmith Palais. I saw them prior to both of these gigs at least once, in a small venue and was blown away by them, but cannot remember where it was. They put a phenomenal amount of energy into their shows.

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I've got Disguise In Love (awesome, love Valley of The Long Lost Women and Readers Wives) and Live At The Witch Trials. Listened to Peel later though, early to late 80's. Saw JCC supported by Napalm Death at the Mermaid in Birmingham in 1985. 

  • Up vote 2

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