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Off My Chest Emigration Cancer and Work


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Imn not sure if I shoulkd write this but I dont want to bother people too much on a personal level at all so....

I was all set for New Zealand earlier this year...30 years in healthcare (22 professional) I work in theatres usually and now also Intensive Care..looking forward to a life of island hopping mountains and sea, and the States a bit nearer...? 

my wife left me last year, but not quite always nipping in and out, and in February moved all her gear back in.

I spent two years looking after 2 babies with a mother who has MS (new diagnosis) who now says we do nothing for her :) does this sound familiar...(psychos) ... so now the wife has  particularly nasty cancer and the doctors say they can do nothing for her...shes sort of half moved back in so I shelved NZ completely

Ive got no money left as such anyway a few bob for this and that but happy enough 

After initially working in ITU and theatres, (try my mask on for size, all day long-over the head rubber asbestos retardant thing) ...the work fell off, (was an agency nurse) and no furlough for 3 months, ending up thankfully on UC.

I start work again next week, reluctantly in the private sector with all its corruption and money targets, but Im grateful, even if my heart isnt exactly in it yet. 

I posted this to say, if you're feeling shit about things like paper masks and shopping etc. don't, there's worse going on, Im still smiling just, but if anyone has had a sh****er year this year post away, we can talk. 

 

Thankfully people like Dave Thorley and numerous others such as the Jacaranda crew have been providing music through all this else Id have gone doolally. 

In the meantime spare time is spent dancing round the living room..  KOKO 

 

Apologies in advance its freebasing so hey ho. Soul Family and that. 

 

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Imn not sure if I shoulkd write this but I dont want to bother people too much on a personal level at all so.... I was all set for New Zealand earlier this year...30 years in healthcare (22 profe

Hearing about other people's lives is fascinating to me, the good, and the bad things that are thrown at us, which puts things into perspective. I try to be positive as much as possible, but I su

Firstly, it's good place to get stuff off your chest.  I did it recently with the loss of a pet thread and sometimes it helps hearing things from a load of strangers on a forum, rather than peopl

Posted

Not a lot one can say really other than I feel for you, been through similar where the break up of a marriage, looking after kids and no money is concerned but cannot imagine how you must be feeling and coping  with all the illness on top of everything else. The fact you say you are happy enough says much of the human spirit you must possess in abundance. 

  Keep fighting my friend, wishing you all the best the future can give, 

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Hearing about other people's lives is fascinating to me, the good, and the bad things that are thrown at us, which puts things into perspective.

I try to be positive as much as possible, but I suppose it's natural for us all to feel down from time to time, especially with what is currently going on all around us.

Nina (the wife) was a tad fed up yesterday, just that she's been at home for so long now, and the kids were being a bit of a drain. So I got her to read your post, which put it into perspective - I then sent the kids to bed with snacks to watch 'Harry Potter', while we sat down to watch 'Downton Abbey', so all was good again in 'The Dopson Household' :wink: (Yes 'Downton Abbey') :D

I have a lot to be grateful for in life, but (as we're sharing here) the big hole in my heart that I have to live with, is that I haven't seen my two children from a previous marriage for nearly 20 years, and believe me, that was not for want of trying.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about them, it gets me very down from time to time, and I still have sleepless nights over it - But I know I have to 'park it' again, or it will effect the good things in my life.

I was going to start a thread on the subject, as I know I'm not the only one who has gone through this, but I dunno, it's too upsetting really, so not a great subject to discuss.

As you mentioned SOUL - 'The Bury Virtual All-nighter' every Sat night, and 'The 100 Club 'Mix clouds (Thanks to @Woodbutcher loading them up for those of us not on Face Book) are good through this 'not going out' period of time.

"Life is an adventure - If it's not an adventure, it's not a life"

All the best to you,

Len :thumbsup:

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Posted (edited)

Firstly, it's good place to get stuff off your chest. 

I did it recently with the loss of a pet thread and sometimes it helps hearing things from a load of strangers on a forum, rather than people you know (who just tell you what they think you want to hear). 

And I also don't necessarily like sharing stuff with people I know. 

It sounds like life is really hard going for you at the moment. But everyone goes through these times. 2005-07 was my time for getting the rug pulled from under me, every time I tried to get back up. A truly cr@p time. 

But, life is like a roller-coaster, ups and downs. Personally I worry when all is going well nowadays, as I know things are going to get worse (daft I know!). 

Hopefully, things may level out and then start to improve for you. The sun will shine once again and it will be time to laugh and smile. 

Tyson Fury came out with a saying recently, along the lines of..... Getting knocked down isn't what defines the man - its the getting back up again afterwards. 

It's very true. 

 

Edited by Fish Fingers
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Also just wanted to say that if anyone thinks Tyson Fury is a strange choice of person to look up to when it comes to emotional resillience, it's worth watching this. 

 

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15 hours ago, Bunderthollox said:

am a little in wonder of my own endurance at times

When the good times return as they surely will you will look back with pride at how you coped, this I know from experience, it has always given me a sense of inner pride when I look back at the tough times and how I managed not to sink into depression. Only last week searching for something I found two hole in the wall statements from that time , ten years after my marriage had broken up where I was left in debt I still only had just shy of £400 in the bank, I remembered the sense of achievement I felt when when I reached another £100 knowing I could take out enough for the weeks shopping and the kids spending money and still have £100, then £200 and so on, what I didn't realise or had forgotten was how long it took me to get to that £400. I don't know who said it or whether I read it in a book but it's the small victories that can give the most pleasure, something like that anyway.

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