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Pete S

Laughing My Socks Off Here

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How could anyone be so silly. Derek and Clive made much better records. Talking of which I may give my Cockney Dancer C/U an airing this Saturday.

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How could anyone be so silly.  Derek and Clive made much better records.  Talking of which I may give my Cockney Dancer C/U an airing this Saturday.

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You sure it's Cockney DANCER ??? smile.gif

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It certainly wasn't but I thought that we had been banned from swearing and cussing on this site, which is a bit of a c***'s trick.

Anyhow wasn't this how the BBC politely referred to it recently, before playing an excerpt? smile.gif

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Oh you said c***

thats fuckin awful.

Reminds me of my little lad when he was about 4 saying to his mate in the garden."Youre a bastard", but it was no sooner out of his lips when mother said "hey thats the worst word you can ever use.Dont you let me hear that from your lips and my wee laddie or youll get it bigtime".

To which the reply came.."NO ITS NOT the worst word....CUNK IS"

thought it was feckin funny... :shades:smile.giflaugh.gif:lol: the gasher

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.

Reminds me of my little lad when he was about 4 saying to his mate in the garden."Youre a bastard", but it was no sooner out of his lips when mother said "hey thats the worst word you can ever use.Dont you let me hear that from your lips and my wee laddie or youll get it bigtime".

To which the reply came.."NO ITS NOT the worst word....CUNK IS"

thought it was feckin funny... smile.gif   :lol:   laugh.gif   :lol: the gasher

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Oh dear, I just spat my sarnie out, I'm choking. :shades: Your lad sounds like the bollocks.

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Oh you said c***

thats fuckin awful.

Reminds me of my little lad when he was about 4 saying to his mate in the garden."Youre a bastard", but it was no sooner out of his lips when mother said "hey thats the worst word you can ever use.Dont you let me hear that from your lips and my wee laddie or youll get it bigtime".

To which the reply came.."NO ITS NOT the worst word....CUNK IS"

thought it was feckin funny... :shades:   smile.gif   laugh.gif   :lol: the gasher

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A mate took his 5 year old to the playoff final last year between super Bristol City and dodgy old Brighton.

We lost to a genuine penalty. Difficult against a side with Leon Knight in.

The boy gets to his grans after the game. His gran is Mrs Bucket to a T. She asks him how the football went. he says " the fcuking ref fcuking cheated us".

His dad dint know whether to laugh or tell him off.

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Oh dear, I just spat my sarnie out, I'm choking. smile.gif Your lad sounds like the bollocks.

Yeah he sixteen now the CUNK is almost as big as me..Check out his photo

with his afro if you click on my gash99 profile.Im too good lookin to put my piccie in..It might scare the kids..

thats the little CUNK there..

the Gasher :shades:

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Check out his photo

with his afro if you click on my gash99 profile.Im too good lookin to put my piccie in..It might scare the kids..

the Gasher smile.gif

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Have you told him that he looks like Kevin Keegan. Then you can see whether he's learned any new swear words. :shades:smile.gif

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Am i the only person not to like Derek and Clive? smile.gif

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No, my mother can't stand them. And a bloke from my school called Giles didn't like them either, he became a vicar, and supports Chelsea. :diablo:

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Had to share this with you lot

Somebody just rang me up and said

"Have you got 'Interplay' by Derek & CLIVE?"

So I said "You c***"  smile.gif

Derek & Clive...sorry, just tickled me thats all

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Lets guess.

You Clot (old style)

You Chin (new style)

You Chav (topical)

You Clit (risky)

You Carp (fishy)

You Cuty (nice and PC)

AT LEAST YOU DID NOT JUDGE THE POOR SOD. How much did they offer, I can write Clive over Ray for a few bob.

Ed

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My neighbour told me when he was young and had been naughty his upset mother chased him round the house and as he was making his getaway out the back door she screamed at him "You wait till I catch you Ill wank your legs"

Never been able to work that one out!

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A mate took his 5 year old to the playoff final last year between super Bristol City and dodgy old Brighton.

We lost to a genuine penalty. Difficult against a side with Leon Knight in.

The boy gets to his grans after the game. His gran is Mrs Bucket to a T. She asks him how the football went. he says " the fcuking ref fcuking cheated us".

His dad dint know whether to laugh or tell him off.

link

I can remember when I lived in Preston. There was a little girl running up and down the bus I was on. Her mother said "Samantha come sit here NOW or I'll smack you" Samantha replied "Yeah just you do and tell daddy you peed in his new bucket" :lol:

The woman got off at the next stop :lol:

Always wondered what the kid meant :thumbsup:

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Guest ciarraÃĮ’Ã"š­bhoy

I remember my son waking me up one Sunday morning with the news that Fucks Bizz had won the Eurovision Song Contest.

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My neighbour told me when he was young and had been naughty his upset mother chased him round the house and as he was making his getaway out the back door she screamed at him "You wait till I catch you Ill wank your legs"

Never been able to work that one out!

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I've tried believe me I 've tried :thumbsup:

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You've all got it wrong. Derek & Clive is an awesome tune!!

Derek and Clive are 70's Icons Derek Griffiths and Clive Dunn. After their TV careers started to faulter they had a stab at a cashing in on the music scene of the day producing a cover version of Interplay. Produced by Ian Levine apparently!

The b'side is a great version of 'Go on and laugh' by the Just Brothers!!

Probably one of the top UK rarities of the 70's on the Dad's Army record label (Dad's 001) Demo's only.

The geezer requesting it probably wanted it for the b'side.

Didn't Derek Griffiths go to Wigan!?!?!?!?!?

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Yeah, I used to spin my Alfie Noakes 'stories from the north' cover up at the local hop, although as we all know it went on to be a huge Hi-Energy remake and went massive at the Chocolate Starfish in London.

And now it's back to topless darts at Roehampton.

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If you need to let off steam - suggest you put Scissor Sisters Filthy Gorgeous on and sing at the top of your voice! wot me & Em did Friday nite then Em decided to take Terry for a spin in her new car - doing 100mph on the M25 - better if you haven't had too much to drink though! wacko.gif:sleep3:

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