We have been back on the northern scene now for about ten years. However I am struggling to get my wife to come with me, as she says, that all the venues are a disgrace and it is impossible to get a decent glass of wine. What is it about northern soul that we invariably have do's at scummy venues? Is it because the people on the scene are poor?

do you know what, i've got a similar problem. my wife is a pisshead and keeps dragging me to wine festivals. but the music they play is shite. for some reason she thinks that doesn't matter...it's all about the booze for her. some people, eh?

We have been back on the northern scene now for about ten years. However I am struggling to get my wife to come with me, as she says, that all the venues are a disgrace and it is impossible to get a decent glass of wine. What is it about northern soul that we invariably have do's at scummy venues? Is it because the people on the scene are poor?

link

Its a conspiracy to keep the working class roots of Northern Soul firmly in their place.

Look in the cellar at these venues and invariably there are wine racks full of Chateau Lafitte and bottles of chilled Cristal. The Dome and Sheridans are renowned for having the most exclusive vintage wines and have both been nominated in the past as "Sommellier NS venue of the Year award". Unfortunately they did not win, this accolade was bestowed posthumously on Wigan Casino.

Backstage at Prestwich we were recently served by a Butler with "amuse bouche" -tiny canapes handmade by Gordon Ramsey and flown by Private jet up to Manchester airport, transferred into a climate controlled limo and delivered by Bunny Girls.

The Drunken Monkey is aptly named - fine Cognacs and Armagnacs are served in huge crystal goblets by well trained Marmosets.

Its about time we listed our demands....

Mink Lined Hammocks

Connoisseur Cigar rooms (Smoking Jackets compulsary)

Foot massages after every third dance from exotic handmaidens/houseboys

Sedan chairs to carry the ladies from CarPark to venue (Janine and I have been demanding this for a long time)

Replace all Chip Buttie based menu's with Lobster wraps.

OVO venues to supply Transciptors Hydraulic decks and state of the art B&O speakers to make the most of our precious vinyl.

Hummer limo's to transport us all home or onto the next venue.

Backstage at Prestwich we were recently served by a Butler with "amuse bouche" -tiny canapes handmade by Gordon Ramsey and flown by Private jet up to Manchester airport, transferred into a climate controlled limo and delivered by Bunny Girls.

link

Well I have to make some extra record money somehow...

Well I have to make some extra record money somehow... 

link