over the the last couple of months we have been to new to us venues and  the welcome we have had as been varied from total indifference to  warm heartfelt appreciation for attending .

looking around the rooms have noticed all of these venues are populated by promo resident djs and their mates and a smattering of regulars and not going to use any derogatory term but people who are not soulies,

 

well angie and me know loads of people and always drop on someone we know and are immediately made room for at a table

however this is not the case for strangers . 

with an eye on the demographics ie, a mainly 50 plus year olds and falling attendances at these venues surely its in the promoters/dj,s  interests

to make people welcome and not ignore them as are the cases I have seen recently where a group of youngish women were totally ignored after they had requested some motown several times , they attempted to get on the floor but were lost. 

I have witnessed this at several venues and we have always tried to talk to these people ,but sometimes they go away disappointed never to return .

my point is , if you have the wherewithal its easy to put on an event invite ya besties to dj get decent guest djs and expect your mates and locals to attend ,then sit around the door chatting with your mates or hanging around the decks or for sale boxes totally oblivious to the punters especially people new to the venue .

so come try harder and make newbies feel welcome .

 

disclaimer

not all venues are like this and have been made to feel more than welcome at some new to us venues ,

 

 

I'd be more uncomfortable with nosey parkers asking who we were / where we were from, are we "soulies"? etc....

 

Just as well I didn't come and bother you then.

Just as well I didn't come and bother you then.

 

Always up for a chat but you are a bit difficult to identify by your avatar  

Always up for a chat but you are a bit difficult to identify by your avatar 

 

I was wearing my Avatars on Saturday night!

 

These days i like to sit on my own and absore the music without some middle age woman verbaling and telling me her life history lol lol

Have we met?

I was wearing my Avatars on Saturday night!

 

 

 

we were down the far end - furthest from the door - the noisy bunch on the end table 

Have we met?

;-)

we were down the far end - furthest from the door - the noisy bunch on the end table 

 

Nice one Steve.  I was on the first row of tables when I wasn't attempting to dance.  Always get a friendly welcome in Barrow, but with Cumbria being sparsely populated, we're all related, we all tend to know each other on the soul scene up here.

Nice one Steve.  I was on the first row of tables when I wasn't attempting to dance.  Always get a friendly welcome in Barrow, but with Cumbria being sparsely populated, we're all related, we all tend to know each other on the soul scene up here.

 

Cheers. It was funny cos someone came up to one of Lorraine's older brothers (a Sparky) and said "Do you remember me? I used to work with you". I think not being on the scene he was quite surprised by that....

 

I know Brian and the lovely Angie get out and about as much as I do, Bri does Soul nights and I do Nighters, no high or low ground claimed or implied Bro X, I do know what you mean and if I and my travelling compadres are treated with indifference we don't return, simples and it is their loss. There are some Allnighters that I just will not do as I feel they are cliquey and I always feel like a gate crasher, one of the big ones has a regular invite back to their house for the chosen few which is ace but when that becomes a kind of selling point for their Nighter you can't hep but feel excluded, maybe our group hasn't got the right kind of social skills?

 

The front of shop is vital, massive own goals can be scored by not greeting someone who has just spent two hours driving to a venue, it is both ignorant and quite short sighted.

 

Once in the venue, I care little for socialising, I am there to dance like the devil him self but I do kinda want to feel comfortable and not feel dread, the only time I have ever felt dread was at the Coalville Allnighter when I honestly thought it was going to go pear shaped with the locals!

 

 

For years I suffered from 'Imposter Syndrome', but as you get older you come to realise that some people are simply not friendly (their loss)

 

Social skills are over rated mate  

 

All the best,

 

Len  

Edited October 14, 201311 yr by LEN

These days i like to sit on my own and absore the music without some middle age woman verbaling and telling me her life history lol lol

 

 Yes, we call that 'House wives on spe*d' - Don't get trapped  

 

All the best,

 

Len  

Len i couldn't get a word in or run off

You'd have a barrel of laughs with me mate, get to venue, get in the record bar, get on dance floor, see the missus 8 hours later, I sh*t you not....occasionally eyes meet across the dance floor but that's about it, got better things to do....always funny too when blocked n some nutters tryin to do ya head in or your tryin to do their head in....its all part of the fun innit !!! lol

 

Apres Soul conversations n adventures....

 

Dave A n his gerbils

Steve C n course fishing at 6am

Captain Detroit  !!!

Offering a lift to some strangers after a Nighter, starting a conversation in Yarmouth & it finished when I pulled up outside their house on Portsmouth - they hadn't said a word all journey - they left the vehicle like a bullet out of a gun lol 

Taking nearly 2 days to get home - stopping at every services n café on the way back

Losing Randy at the services n him trying to hunt us down as he thought we had abandoned him

 

The fun & friendliness is endless......

 

Best Russ

 

Great stuff - Me and Nina always had our own 'adventure', then we'd talk b*llox about each of our adventures for hours when we got home.

 

Many times we've given some 'strange soul' (that we had  only just met) a lift home from f*ckin miles away - One stayed at a mates for the next three days - THIS IS NOT NORMAL! - But we loved it!  

 

Len  

Conversations are always cut off by me,or by my friends.When a record comes on you've got about 2.30 secs to get to it,you can always carry the conversation on later...but that moment on the floor may not come around for a while....its one place that sort of etiquette should be understood......

 

Yep often been in a 'heart to heart' convo and had to 'suddenly' stop it. Once, some one was 'really deep', telling me about a time they were going to kill themselves, etc - A record came on, I said ..."Back in a sec".....and as I was dancing, I thought, oops, that was bad timing......I got back - No problem, and carried on chatting - He was 'one of us'; you see

 

Whereas on the other hand, I've had people that have been offended (and said so) just because I've 'been in the zone' and 'ignored them' - That really irritates me.

 

Len  

Len i couldn't get a word in or run off

 

I know - Been there mate!........So frustrating having your night 'stolen'......so I do it to others for revenge!   

 

Len  

;-)

Only kidding, I'm usually hiding in the corner from the rabbits :-)

The "badge of honour" has to be turning up at a venue and being told you won't like it, because it's a "soul do". I know that has happened to someone on here.....

"Do You Like To Feel Welcome"

 

A smile when money is taken at the door is suffice Barney...however I must say that wherever i've been Nationally...be it a Soul Night or Nighter...i've always been met with a warm welcome of some kind!x So...no complaints here!x

 

LUV
SOOTY
X

 

"Once, some one was 'really deep', telling me about a time they were going to kill themselves, etc - A record came on, I said ..."Back in a sec".....and as I was dancing, I thought, oops, that was bad timing....."

....and i'm still standing on that chair with noose waiting for u to stop dancing Lenny...15 years....me knees are sore.....wot u like....I have problems......u listening???.......I faawt u luv'd me too......i;m stepping forward...I am...I really really am.......hello????.....

@@
~

 

 

...you see...there's this DJ that plays mid tempo in the middle of me STOOOORMING all-nighter and has all the guuuuurls swaying like good uns.........how can I do that?? I';m finished.......ended...............

Edited October 14, 201311 yr by SOOTY

Its nice for people to maybe nod at you maybe and a smile on entry or in bogs or outside smoking , but once you are around the dancefloor or dancing who gives a fook about anybody else and as for trying to hold a conversation if that's what you have gone for maybe you should go looking for another pastime .

I go out to dance. I like the music to be loud enough that I can't hear what anybody says.

 

I mostly go to nights round the North West where people shake hands and say Hiya. That's plenty for me. Every so often I'll see someone for the first time in years and we'll say more than hello but apart from the music we usually have nowt in common.

 

The Mrs, on the other hand, loves a natter with all and sundry...especially the kids who she has taught over the years about half of whom seem to have turned into soulies.

"Do You Like To Feel Welcome"

 

A smile when money is taken at the door is suffice Barney...however I must say that wherever i've been Nationally...be it a Soul Night or Nighter...i've always been met with a warm welcome of some kind!x So...no complaints here!x

 

LUV

SOOTY

X

 

"Once, some one was 'really deep', telling me about a time they were going to kill themselves, etc - A record came on, I said ..."Back in a sec".....and as I was dancing, I thought, oops, that was bad timing....."

....and i'm still standing on that chair with noose waiting for u to stop dancing Lenny...15 years....me knees are sore.....wot u like....I have problems......u listening???.......I faawt u luv'd me too......i;m stepping forward...I am...I really really am.......hello????.....

@@

~

 

 

...you see...there's this DJ that plays mid tempo in the middle of me STOOOORMING all-nighter and has all the guuuuurls swaying like good uns.........how can I do that?? I';m finished.......ended...............

 

  I can only apologise , it was 'Moses Smith - The Girl Across The Street'......What's a soulie supposed to do?........'hang' in there Buddy  

 

All the best,

 

Len  

Edited October 14, 201311 yr by LEN

The "badge of honour" has to be turning up at a venue and being told you won't like it, because it's a "soul do". I know that has happened to someone on here.....

inverted facism that, I'd be pretty proud right now of not looking like a soulie!

"Hi, you alright mate? Cheers for coming, that will be X amount..." is enough for me....

If you really need a good welcome put your keys on the table and joi

If you really need a good welcome put your keys on the table and join a swingers club lol lol

The "badge of honour" has to be turning up at a venue and being told you won't like it, because it's a "soul do". I know that has happened to someone on here.....

 

I was told that at Kings Hall once..... 

No I like to feel unwelcome

Edited October 15, 201311 yr by Pete S

"Hi, you alright mate? Cheers for coming, that will be X amount..." is enough for me....

 

......and all that is needed - It's the 'vibe' people get I suppose.

 

All the best,

 

Len