Firstly, I f*cking hate the expression

Sister Funk:

secondly I hate it when someone describes a record which was played a few times 30 years ago as a NORTHERN MONSTER, like this one

NORTHERN SOUL MONSTER OH MY DARLING MIRWOOD STRINGS

Ahaar...

I hates

"Bid Away!!!!"

and

"Bid High, and Bid Often"

or

"Give me your money you fcuking muppet"

Ahaar...

I hates

"Bid Away!!!!"

and

"Bid High, and Bid Often"

or

"Give me your money you fcuking muppet"

well check this out homies !!! whilst browsing a US sellers listings recently, I noted the following description against a hip hop record, which I dont think is officially Record Collector or Goldmine grading. Condition : "Wax is dope." any ideas ?

The worst description is Northern Soul - when the record clearly isn't Northern Soul, if you know what I mean. Mainly Yank sellers who havent a clue but also get some Brit ones too.

I personally hate everything that is described as "ULTRA RARE" or "RARE!!!!" on eBay...

Original 1st issue - when it's clearly not.

This record is in excellent condition = I dont own a record player, but my guide dog says it looks ok

THE MOST DUBIOUS DESCRIPTION ON E BAY IS MINT AND MINT-.THIS IS CLOSELY FOLLOWED BY A QUOTE STATING THE MANSHIP PRICE QUIDE PRICE[WE ALL KNOW THE MARKET DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT].

BAZ A.

Post and packing will be supplied after auction closes

ie, if I dont get at least what I wanted you are going to be forking out 10 times what it costs to send to you.

The worst description is Northern Soul - when the record clearly isn't Northern Soul, if you know what I mean. Mainly Yank sellers who havent a clue but also get some Brit ones too.

I agree 100% : The sellers on eBay who - in order to shift any / the records they have for sale that contain a rhythm of any kind - will put them under the heading of " Northern

Soul " . I like to think my many years of standing on the scene has stood me in good stead of picking up a tune ( label , artist , producer , publisher , time etc. etc . ) , but I recently was suckered by a seller who advertised a particular record . I had not heard of it , but the seller's creative description and the scan of the label proved interesting , so I bid on it and won . The record arrived ....... and it was pants . The vocals on the record were a cross between Frankie Vaughan and Elmer Phudd , sung ( I use the term begrudgingly ) over a very bad big band backing . When I left feedback for the seller , I put

" an educational purchase " : the seller e-mailed me asking to clarify my statement , to which I replied " I have been taught a lesson in buying records " .

Tread carefully when seeing the Term " Northern Soul " allied to records on eBay , as you may also have an " educational purchase ".

Malc Burton

Edited September 7, 200618 yr by Malc Burton

I agree 100% : The sellers on eBay who - in order to shift any / the records they have for sale that contain a rhythm of any kind - will put them under the heading of " Northern

Soul " . I like to think my many years of standing on the scene has stood me in good stead of picking up a tune ( label , artist , producer , publisher , time etc. etc . ) , but I recently was suckered by a seller who advertised a particular record . I had not heard of it , but the seller's creative description and the scan of the label proved interesting , so I bid on it and won . The record arrived ....... and it was pants . The vocals on the record were a cross between Frankie Vaughan and Elmer Phudd , sung ( I use the term begrudgingly ) over a very bad big band backing . When I left feedback for the seller , I put

" an educational purchase " : the seller e-mailed me asking to clarify my statement , to which I replied " I have been taught a lesson in buying records " .

Tread carefully when seeing the Term " Northern Soul " allied to records on eBay , as you may also have an " educational purchase ".

Malc Burton

exactly what i meant Malc....best to ask around on this type of site see if anyone knows the record, do a search, google etc see if anything comes up etc. So tempting to buy that 'unknown' tune in search of the next biggie mate

Semi-Known is the one I hate- Who the F**k knows it.

Had one yesterday when I queried the postage- The reply was "WElcome to the world of Blocked bidders"

Did not understand it myself! Anyone enlighten me!

Semi-Known is the one I hate- Who the F**k knows it.

Had one yesterday when I queried the postage- The reply was "WElcome to the world of Blocked bidders"

Did not understand it myself! Anyone enlighten me!

In short Ern, it means he has thrown his dummy out of his pram, and made the vindictive move of blocking you from his auctions, since you probably did the right thing by confronting him about rip-off postage rates (my pet hate on Ebay).

Who was it?

I once won a copy of The Drapers off ebay.

The description stated 'recording in mint condition'

When it arrived it looked VG at best, though played perfectly well.

I questioned the sellers description, to which he informed me that he had stated the 'recording' not the record was in mint condition and he had recorded both sides on the 45 just in case of any such comebacks!

I informed him he was a devious sneaky tw*t :angry:

B*st*rd!

I once won a copy of The Drapers off ebay.

The description stated 'recording in mint condition'

When it arrived it looked VG at best, though played perfectly well.

I questioned the sellers description, to which he informed me that he had stated the 'recording' not the record was in mint condition and he had recorded both sides on the 45 just in case of any such comebacks!

I informed him he was a devious sneaky tw*t :angry:

B*st*rd!

And what did you expect for 27cents?

In short Ern, it means he has thrown his dummy out of his pram, and made the vindictive move of blocking you from his auctions, since you probably did the right thing by confronting him about rip-off postage rates (my pet hate on Ebay).

Who was it?

Coolcollectible$ is his ID - He had acopy of the Charmettes up for bids

His exact comment was - "It keeps the bottom feeders away" WElcome to the world of Blocked bidders"

Sister Funk (Agree with Pete)

Mega Rare - When describing a £1.50 pressing.

Northern Soul - When describing a Lionel Richie 80s 45

'Sick Breaks ' No mate, its got a funky drum break - Its not 'sick' or 'dope'

Any description of a funk 45 that includes KEB DARGE - Usually a common James Brown 45 - Like 'Oh my god Keb Darge might have touched one of these - it must be good....

DONT SLEEP!!!!!! -

And many many more....

Rich

I once won a copy of The Drapers off ebay.

The description stated 'recording in mint condition'

When it arrived it looked VG at best, though played perfectly well.

I questioned the sellers description, to which he informed me that he had stated the 'recording' not the record was in mint condition and he had recorded both sides on the 45 just in case of any such comebacks!

I informed him he was a devious sneaky tw*t :angry:

B*st*rd!

That's bad Mace, but there is a kinda funny side to it and at least the recording was mint Priceless!

Rich

Coolcollectible$ is his ID - He had acopy of the Charmettes up for bids

His exact comment was - "It keeps the bottom feeders away" WElcome to the world of Blocked bidders"

Cheers for that Ernie.

I understand blocked bidder - but "bottom feeder"????? The plot thickens!

I like to think my many years of standing on the scene has stood me in good stead of picking up a tune ( label , artist , producer , publisher , time etc. etc . ) , but I recently was suckered by a seller who advertised a particular record . I had not heard of it , but the seller's creative description and the scan of the label proved interesting , so I bid on it and won . The record arrived ....... and it was pants . The vocals on the record were a cross between Frankie Vaughan and Elmer Phudd , sung ( I use the term begrudgingly ) over a very bad big band backing .

Can we have a soundfile?

And what did you expect for 27cents?

that's beside the point...

"condition of vinyl is g-. Great for djing."

Great for the seller who's ears won't bleed when the tune is played.

The vocals on the record were a cross between Frankie Vaughan and Elmer Phudd ,

As a big fan of both Frankie's and Elmer's (and it's spelt F-U-D-D BTW), I'm intrigued enough to second the request for a soundfile, please

TONE

A slight variation on Miss Popcorn's

"I don't have a record player anymore but visually the record looks fine" = VG-

This one's really pissy.

Others I hate are:

"lots of gloss" = I f*cking painted it with boot polish

"You'll never see another copy in this condition" - Yeah right!

"Northern soul monster" = Dawn "Tie a yellow ribbon"

Agree with Pikeys Dog.....loathe all of these with a passion:

"bids away!"

"bid hard to win this one"

"bid high and soon"

bid hard?!

Edited September 7, 200618 yr by mulf

What about ones that start with; "You are bidding on..."

No I'm not, I'm just looking, and now I'm not going to bid at all seeing as you've presumed your record is so great that everyone who looks at it is going to bid on it. F*ck off.

What about ones that start with; "You are bidding on..."

No I'm not, I'm just looking, and now I'm not going to bid at all seeing as you've presumed your record is so great that everyone who looks at it is going to bid on it. F*ck off.

and end with " bid with confidence". Good that you mention it, mate. Feel a lot better now.

"Reserves" and esp that Count guy who has a reserve on everything even if beat up and nowt seems to reach the reserve!!

When they auction them but word it as if it's some kinda set sale. Low Starting Price meand f**k all. It's just cheaper to list for the seller.

"Glassboy". I really wanted that Whispers and to be beat by 64cents is a fackin liberty.

ROD

"Reserves" and esp that Count guy who has a reserve on everything even if beat up and nowt seems to reach the reserve!!

When they auction them but word it as if it's some kinda set sale. Low Starting Price meand f**k all. It's just cheaper to list for the seller.

"Glassboy". I really wanted that Whispers and to be beat by 64cents is a fackin liberty.

ROD

We've had a little discussion about this guy before.

If you bid on his item and it doesn't sell, he emails you saying you can have it for X amount.

If you write back and say thanks, but no thanks, he then sends you a really shitty email saying don't ever bid on my auction again you timewaster!

"Sorry Bidding has ended for this item, you were outbid"

That's the one i dislike, Hate it, Hate it

Agree with Pikeys Dog.....loathe all of these with a passion:

"bids away!"

"bid hard to win this one"

"bid high and soon"

bid hard?!

Bid with confidence.....erm, no, I'm a little nervous actually

Low bid to start.....99p - no - 1p is lower....

Item shown in stock bag - and then arrives in a plain white sleeve

Mint minus...arrives with surface resembling a Farleys Rusk....... :angry: I'd like to reply...'we know where you live'...but that wouldn't be true - a bit like the grading of the record....

Jo

"Payment expected within three days" coupled with something like "I live in the country and only go to the Post Office once a week, so please be patient if you've missed my trip for this week" are two phrases that, coupled togeher, should get any eBay seller an immediate suspension. If they want payment within three days, they should be expected to ship the item within three days, too.

TONE

and end with " bid with confidence". Good that you mention it, mate. Feel a lot better now.

I use that, and there's no way I'm going to change it after 5 years!

As a big fan of both Frankie's and Elmer's (and it's spelt F-U-D-D BTW), I'm intrigued enough to second the request for a soundfile, please

TONE

Hi Tony .....

My sincerest apologies : Firstly , the 45 went in the wheely bin a couple of days after I received it , and secondly , if I still had the thing , I do not have the technology computer wise to provide a sound file for the masses ..... sorry to disappoint !

The offending 45 was on U.S. Metro by a guy called Ernie Fletcher .

Malc

Hi Tony .....

My sincerest apologies : Firstly , the 45 went in the wheely bin a couple of days after I received it , and secondly , if I still had the thing , I do not have the technology computer wise to provide a sound file for the masses ..... sorry to disappoint !

The offending 45 was on U.S. Metro by a guy called Ernie Fletcher .

Malc

Not thee Ernie Fletcher,on metro!!.............and you binned it ,Would have swopped one of these for it,Mad Frank Frazier..................

I use that, and there's no way I'm going to change it after 5 years!

But what does it mean? Bid with the confidence that the bid I make is going to win? What if I don't want to bid with confidence? What if I want to bid with nervous anxiety?

Hahahaha definitely the best discussion I've ever read haha

Mmmmh,

The worst is Ultra rare when it actually is and I can't afford it

And the titles like "NORTHERN SOUL MOD SKA SKIN GARAGE JAZZ 45" and it's a sh*te record

Cheers

Dante

We've had a little discussion about this guy before.

If you bid on his item and it doesn't sell, he emails you saying you can have it for X amount.

If you write back and say thanks, but no thanks, he then sends you a really shitty email saying don't ever bid on my auction again you timewaster!

Yep ......Then follows with a really insulting e-mail as if you stiffed him on a deal.A complete & utter oxygen thief.

I've seen him a couple of times years ago at US record conventions. Bit eccentric but harmless.

However,offering outside Ebay is against the rules so how come nobody has complained and got him off the site. Second thoughts as I think dealing is his primary source of income so it'd be a bit tight.

Soul Police should deffo have a word with him though.

ROD

i hate the

..........rare pressing ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,seller

when the seller has just knocked up a vinyl cutters job and put a look a like label on it

what the f*** is rare aboot that any c**t can do that

about as rare as no flies on a turd

Not thee Ernie Fletcher,on metro!!.............and you binned it ,Would have swopped one of these for it,Mad Frank Frazier..................

No Ken .... Not The EF you are thinking of .

Malc