No I Havnt Got It, And Never Will

[paultp]

Trust you to drag me into this I got asked for Abba by someone in the middle of doing my set at TOS.... and the Cure at York Charity Alldayer but the best one was at Mark Bicknell's birthday party. There were a group of guys at the bar who'd had face ache all afternoon. You could've been playing the BEST most smashing set in the universe and they still would've found something to moan about. One of them put his pint down and strode purposefully towards the stage. He climbed on the stage, ignored me and said to PTP 'Scews me mate, have you got t'Hesitations' and Paul said 'you'd better asked the dj' Looking and sounding very nonplussed, the guy turned round to me and said 'Have you got t'Hesitations LOVE......' I replied 'I don't know, I'll just check with the dj'...I turned round and said to myself 'Scews me Love, have you got t'Hesitations', to which I replied 'No sorry'....so I turned round to him and said 'Sorry, the dj hasn't got it'....He was furious - 'This is a fcuking party, not a fcuking funeral'.........I nearly died laughing If he'd been a bit more polite I would've played it....happy days.. Jo

I think after taking the piss and offering them various obscure R&B tunes instead we eventually said "What about Ben E King?"

"PROPER NORVERN!!!" he said

On it went and these three guys jumped about like they were seventeen again, unfortunateley we still had tears running down our cheeks.

Still it was marginally better than the guy who came up to the decks (somewhere?) whilst we were double decking and said to you "Can you ask the DJ .... " Don't think he got much further, I couldn't cue up for laughing

At Dave Rivers South London do I was playing a solid 60's set to a reasonably full floor and someone came up and said could you play some modern? Obligingly moved into some 70's to the general displeasure of the floor and then realised these people were actually in the wrong venue and had really said "something more modern" DOH!

I was asked for something by the doors at TOS and said "I can't cos the decks are over here". Mutual bemusement of punter and DJ.

I could go on, pass me a sandbag.

[Guest markus gora]

Come on Djs, do you ever get asked to play a record that makes you cringe, or is so common.

Its like as if you have it tatooed on your head now please dont ask me again

worst ever billy ocean-red light spells danger,i've been asked to play that just two weeks ago...(a girl came to me and asked for some soul to dance...gloria scott's a case of lovemaking was on the turntable)...after that question the smile on my face was just a frozen mask...

Edited August 13, 2007 by markus gora

[Guest vinylvixen]

I think after taking the piss and offering them various obscure R&B tunes instead we eventually said "What about Ben E King?" "PROPER NORVERN!!!" he said. On it went and these three guys jumped about like they were seventeen again, unfortunateley we still had tears running down our cheeks. What a stroke of genius the Ben E King was, Paul....it saved our djing bacon

Still it was marginally better than the guy who came up to the decks (somewhere?) whilst we were double decking and said to you "Can you ask the DJ .... " Don't think he got much further, I couldn't cue up for laughing I know, you couldn't make it up, could you....

I could go on, pass me a sandbag...Paul, if you revealed all the 'blokeisms' you've heard over the years levelled at (mostly) me, people wouldn't believe you but it's never put me off - water off a duck's back....

But back on topic, perhaps 'Just a boy's dream'....never will have it, never want it too blokey for me Jo

[Guest welshruss]

im not that good ill stick to playing Drums

Crackin thread this Pete.

On Saturday i was asked to "stop playin all this old stuff and put something new on" "what would you like me to play" "have you got New York New York" "erm not with me"

I kid you not.On that she and her hubby went strait out booked a taxi and went home!!!!

I didnt have the heart to tell her new york new york isnt exactly new and doesnt quite fit into the soul spectrum.........

[spot]

If you dont kill the floor a few times in your set...then your playing to safe.....chances are when the floor clears ...thats when I get up and give it a go ....

Bazza

Bazza,

In total agreement mate, cos that's what I do. Don't forget Dj Genisis, Joseph Webster, Joe Jama & Margaret Little use to clear the floor just about. at certain venues we attended, with enlightened "Punters" saying, "Get this modern sh*te off, play some 60's", how fickle they are!!

A guy did this to our Gaz when he was doing a 70's spot & after our Gaz button holed him in the corridor & asked him to repeat himself now they were face to face, needless to say he thought better of it & apologised. The same guy asked my mate who was Djing on Saturday to play "Williams & Watson", ok my mate said, when the guy had gone I said "Thats him who gave Gaz some verbal", Oh is it now, then fcuk his request. So remember be nice to the Dj & they'll be nice to you.

Bazza enjoyed your company saturday & great to see your lass on TOP FORM m8.

Spot.

Edited August 13, 2007 by spot

[Bazza]

Bazza,

In total agreement mate, cos that's what I do. Don't forget Dj Genisis, Joseph Webster, Joe Jama & Margaret Little use to clear the floor just about. at certain venues we attended, with enlightened "Punters" saying, "Get this modern sh*te off, play some 60's", how fickle they are!!

A guy did this to our Gaz when he was doing a 70's spot & after our Gaz button holed him in the corridor & asked him to repeat himself now they were face to face, needless to say he thought better of it & apologised. The same guy asked my mate who was Djing on Saturday to play "Williams & Watson", ok my mate said, when the guy had gone I said "Thats him who gave Gaz some verbal", Oh is it now, then fcuk his request. So remember be nice to the Dj & they'll be nice to you.

Bazza enjoyed your company saturday & great to see your lass on TOP FORM m8.

Spot.

Allways a pleasure to see you spot..it was a good night..and yes she was on form ..cya soon

Bazza

[Dave West]

Bazza,

In total agreement mate, cos that's what I do. Don't forget Dj Genisis, Joseph Webster, Joe Jama & Margaret Little use to clear the floor just about. at certain venues we attended, with enlightened "Punters" saying, "Get this modern sh*te off, play some 60's", how fickle they are!!

A guy did this to our Gaz when he was doing a 70's spot & after our Gaz button holed him in the corridor & asked him to repeat himself now they were face to face, needless to say he thought better of it & apologised. The same guy asked my mate who was Djing on Saturday to play "Williams & Watson", ok my mate said, when the guy had gone I said "Thats him who gave Gaz some verbal", Oh is it now, then fcuk his request. So remember be nice to the Dj & they'll be nice to you.

Bazza enjoyed your company saturday & great to see your lass on TOP FORM m8.

Spot.

I'm suprised you can remember owt, the state you were in, mind you Pete you wouldn't fall over, you were nicely balanced, a bottle in each hand..

Westy

[Md Records]

I assume, like most people, I try and be diplomatic, but there are occasions where you begin to question the mental health of a few that come up to the decks for a "chat". Many Years ago I was D.J.ing in Gloucester when someone came up with a list of about 6 English Tamla Motown numbers e.g. TMG507, etc etc, no titles or artists, just these numbers, and then asked if i could announce over the mic if anyone had these numbers. I asked him if he wanted these records to which he replied "No, I already have them, I just want to see if anyone else has them" Even then I managed to politely refuse such an act of sheer insanity!

Des Parker

[Guest vinylvixen]

I assume, like most people, I try and be diplomatic, but there are occasions where you begin to question the mental health of a few that come up to the decks for a "chat". Many Years ago I was D.J.ing in Gloucester when someone came up with a list of about 6 English Tamla Motown numbers e.g. TMG507, etc etc, no titles or artists, just these numbers, and then asked if i could announce over the mic if anyone had these numbers. I asked him if he wanted these records to which he replied "No, I already have them, I just want to see if anyone else has them" Even then I managed to politely refuse such an act of sheer insanity!

Des Parker

Pure genius, Des - TMG Snap....I think the medication begins to wear off at about 7pm and then people wander down to their local soul do not properly 'dosed' up Jo

[Mark Jones]

My fave request I had and I quote " Can you play some motown like Billy Ocean Love Really Hurts without you"

[Drew3]

Having been round the block with this DJ thing for more years than I care to remember, I've more than had my fair share of requests and I'm almost sure it's been the same people following me around or so it feels like...lol during this time, as Mark said some like to play 'catch the DJ out game' asking for the one off's and ultra hard to finds which when it's true if I owned the request I explain I sold x,y,z twenty years ago for six quid which normally works, if I have the tune and it fit's in to the spot then of course I will play it, I feel that most of the time at the venues I now DJ at from time to time I pretty much get left alone and do my own thing.

The ones I really have a hard time with are the people who come up and ask for a tune and I reply sorry not got it with me (and I only say that if I happen to own the record) or sorry I don't have it...then you get the looks or comments like "call yourself a DJ?", "play something I know?"...... this is true what I'm gonna say next...I was booked to DJ at the Ritz in Manchester for Richard Searling I only did it about three or four times so it was always a joy to do, packed venue, fantastic atmosphere etc. I was stood by the DJ booth about ten minutes before I was due to go on and this chap came up to me totally off his face and asked me what time I was on? I told him in about ten minutes with that he said "can you play some stompers"? I said "like what" again he replied "you know...stompers...Wigan stompers" again I aked like what? "give me some titles"? with that he said "stuff like this" and proceeded to stamp his feet in front of me clapping and waving his arms about as a way to explian to me his translation of the term stomper...priceless!

It's nice to be given space when DJ'ing and be able to do you own thing without being told how you should do it, read the floor and go for it...I played 'Lee Andrews And The Hearts' I think for my stomper friend at The Ritz that night and yes there he was 100mph on the dance floor so I guess I really knew what he meant....lol

Regards - Mark Bicknell.

I've only approached you once Mr Bicknell and that was at my one and only time (so far) at the Orwel.

I asked you for And In Return by Sheila Ferguson and you told me that you didn't have it. You were very polite but I did get the impression that you wanted to be alone!!

Sugar!! As I type this I have realised that it may have been Neil Jones I asked to play that tune!!!!!!!!

He was also very nice in sending me packing!!!!!!!!

Arn't we punters what it's all about?!!!!!!!!!!!!

KTF.

Drew.

[Guest]

I've only approached you once Mr Bicknell and that was at my one and only time (so far) at the Orwel.

I asked you for And In Return by Sheila Ferguson and you told me that you didn't have it. You were very polite but I did get the impression that you wanted to be alone!!

Sugar!! As I type this I have realised that it may have been Neil Jones I asked to play that tune!!!!!!!!

He was also very nice in sending me packing!!!!!!!!

Arn't we punters what it's all about?!!!!!!!!!!!!

KTF.

Drew.

PEOPLE always ask me for RUBY ANDREWS - JUST LOVING YOU.....CARLA THOMAS.- ILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU....PAT AND THE BLENDERS - JUST BECAUSE......JACKIE WILSON - BECAUSE OF YOU AND FRANK POPP - HIP TEENS - EVERY TIME......NO MISTAKE........DIFFERENT PEOPLE.......DIFFERENT TIMES

SAME REQUESTS.

SO I THEN PLAY SKA.................AND A FEW BEAT BALLARDS, THEN PERHAPS A LATIN TUNE

[Guest]

Just gotta agree with Mossy's comments - right on the button.

We encourage requests - it can be dangerous - but balance is the key.

Worst case, about 7 year ago mid evening 10ish, long haired guy(thought he was a Doobie Brother) comes up and asks for......................................................................

Neil (Kinnell) Diamond

After lengthy discussion, nearly missed cut off on Al Wilson( ) showed him a flyer, pointing long & hard at the word "Soul" and his reply (classic BTW)

"Well at least he's American - you fcukin aren't"

Dashed back to main hall, dug out Jackson % and dived through the closed window

Its a hard job but someone's gotta do it - I thought all these people were out of the TV cupboard for reality chat shows etc - seems like everytown everywhere has got 'em - thank fcuk 4 that

[Guest dundeedavie]

i don't really get asked for requests ...maybe i give the impression that i'd rip your head off if you even spoke to me i'm not sure

[Guest Roddy]

Mr Hudson evan for you thats a new level in parinonia !!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ted Massey]

Guy had the best answer for the Knob heads just used to tell them to f*** O**

[Guest dundeedavie]

Mr Hudson evan for you thats a new level in parinonia !!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm not paranoid(i presume that's what you meant) in the slightest thanks roddy , i very rarely get asked for requests i can only guess why in a flippant and mildly humorous (to me) way

on the other hand maybe people are more than happy with what i play them so there is no need

Edited September 26, 2007 by dundeedavie

[Guest Roddy]

JEESO ONE SPELLING MISTOKE ANG YUO GIVE ME IT TGIHT.

Davie take a listen to Ty Karim and "Lighten up baby"

I just waggled my toe in the water and the great white jumped !

[Guest dundeedavie]

JEESO ONE SPELLING MISTOKE ANG YUO GIVE ME IT TGIHT.

Davie take a listen to Ty Karim and "Lighten up baby"

I just waggled my toe in the water and the great white jumped !

i always jump , makes my life worthwhile

2 spelling mistakes so i wasn't picking on it

how the hell are ya anyway ?

[Guest Roddy]

not to shabby mr Hudson thank you I have been my usual traveling self of late London,Brighton London Cleethorpes weekend off this weekend then of to Hamburg I trust both your personalities are well !

[Guest dundeedavie]

not to shabby mr Hudson thank you I have been my usual traveling self of late London,Brighton London Cleethorpes weekend off this weekend then of to Hamburg I trust both your personalities are well !

they certainly are ta

Edited September 26, 2007 by dundeedavie