I was deejaying on Saturday night at one of our regular venues in Jersey when this lovely young lady (I say young, she was under 50, so that qualifies these days) complained about what I was playing ( The Montereys on Arwin) and asked me to play something good. I said "like what?" and she says "oh you know - i'm just a pebble on the beach something good like that. My initial thought was what the f**k and then I twigged it. I told my dj accomplice and we pissed ourselves.

It reminded me of an incident many years ago when I was in the UK and deejayed for Rudzi at the Leicester soul club. This chap (he was drunk at the time) asked me to play The Beetroot Song. I naturally told him to F**k off but he persisted and started singing it to me. I eventually sussed that he was singing The Dalton Boys - I've been Cheated - V.I.P. (you need to listen to it again).

Anyone else had similar bizarre record titles thrown at them???

Frosty

Mick Webb's (aka Cockney Mick) message over the mike at a scooterist nite when asked to play something by The Who:

"Now look - let me make one thing clear. I'm here to play 60s soul music, not f*cking sh*t like the Who, the Stones, the Kinks or any of that f*cking crap".

Amen, that man!

Edited January 30, 201312 yr by Gene-R

"You've got to have a man inside you" was once asked for this by a young lady,

Sounds like a nice lady to know!

have to laugh at this becaise I thought it was called "Black feeling in motion"

Me ffor years thought it was back feel emotion

(Think I still say that in my head when I dance to it!) p

Remember doing a spot in the mid-80s, and some guy asked me to play "Work, Work".

Took me a few minutes to realise he meant "Hurt" by The Victors!

Foundations?

Pete

I did know it honest but i've never owned a copy or played it

atb Kev

Mid spot -- very recently -- a lady asked if I could play something by Nolan Porter---- I pointed at the deck to the record which was playing and about half way through--- "If I could only be sure".. oh have you got anything else by him ?

Are they deaf as well as thick ?

Rob

Excellent rob, and yes most are deaf!

I was playing at the 'Halifax Free Soul Club' on New years eve eve, and this 'young' lady asked me to play something that everyone would dance to

I said, If you can tell me one that will GUARANTEE that EVERYONE will dance, then I will play it. She thought, went away for a while and came back shortly saying 'Something new to do', I said OK but if EVERYONE doesn't dance I'll take it off . Just at the very minute it was time to change the record that I was playing and I put on 'Little Anthony - use your head', the dance floor packed instantly, and she said "Oh! it's OK this will do" and went off to dance.

"can you play that one that goes ooooh oooh ooooh"

"the Who Who song"

"yep, what's it called"

"the Who Who song"

"well if you're gonna take the piss....."

"can you play that one that goes ooooh oooh ooooh"

"the Who Who song"

"yep, what's it called"

"the Who Who song"

"well if you're gonna take the piss....."

Love that LOL!!

Drunk customer; 'Can you play summat I like?'

Me; 'What do you like?'

Drunk customer; 'I dunno........'

I've had this conversation more times than I care to remember!

A woman comes up and says "Mr DJ" (which i'm not by the way,just playing a few given chance) have you got something we all know,refering to a group of blokes and women she was with,i was just setting away the Autographs and i said here's one for you !! ooooo i don't know that, so i said well tell me what you would like and i'll tell you if i have it with me,oooooo i don't know !! any we might know,i said well if you don't tell me i don't know what you might know......it went on until she gave up and knocked the record on the way down !!!! they were all leaving early either through me taxi actually it was, she started ranting about what was the point of playing what i had as hardly anyone was dancing !!!! which was true except those dancing knew and appreciated what they were hearing which were all top class underplayed oldies those not we can do without ,in my opinion of course.

So i shouted get yourselves out of the town and learn something.

read on another thread, can't recall which.........

Bloke takes a young lad to a soul do who on reading a flyer for an oldies night on the table says "f*ck me, do they have nights for people older than this lot in here?"

I was playing our local pub December before last, when a drunk with a snowman jumper asked me for some christmas songs like Slade.

When we were kids i stopped my mate from asking for a new one he had heard called "black pudding" . It was barefootin that he had listened to by Robert Parker!!! Like was said earlier, stupid and thick, bless him.

Mick Webb's (aka Cockney Mick) message over the mike at a scooterist nite when asked to play something by The Who:

"Now look - let me make one thing clear. I'm here to play 60s soul music, not f*cking sh*t like the Who, the Stones, the Kinks or any of that f*cking crap".

Amen, that man!

Thanks for that, I will make sure I never ever, go to hear aka cockney mick, at any scooter rally I go to

Cos if he thinks the first 2 Kinks albums are shit then he is an absolute knob shite and I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire,

or you for that matter, but then again I bet neither of you have heard the first 2 Kinks albums.

absolute w****rs

Thanks for that, I will make sure I never ever, go to hear aka cockney mick, at any scooter rally I go to

Cos if he thinks the first 2 Kinks albums are shit then he is an absolute knob shite and I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire,

or you for that matter, but then again I bet neither of you have heard the first 2 Kinks albums.

absolute w****rs

Calm down Dekka!

Cockney Mick retired 20 years ago.

And Gene is a good bloke.

Calm down Dekka!

Cockney Mick retired 20 years ago.

And Gene is a good bloke.

Ok Pete, how ya doin mate

sorry gene, my apoligies

Ok Pete, how ya doin mate

sorry gene, my apoligies

Alright mate.

Thats one of those - type it - then step away from the keyboard for 2 minutes to make sure you want to post it - type of moments

I like all the Kinks Pye albums...

Alright mate.

Thats one of those - type it - then step away from the keyboard for 2 minutes to make sure you want to post it - type of moments

I like all the Kinks Pye albums...

I guess your right mate,

just love my early British RnB, especially the Kinks

I have the first 2 albums and just love them so much

The Whos first lp is great as is the Kinks...Stones one the jurys out on although i love Satanic Majesties and prefer it to Pepper...id rather hear The Open Mind lp above any of it though...my amusing story is im deejaying to a full floor in london and ive got Oh Happy Day on and im looking at a girl dancing...i then play Jackie Moores Heart Be Still...cue girl walking over....do you have to play this seventies shit!! @.!!

Thanks for that, I will make sure I never ever, go to hear aka cockney mick, at any scooter rally I go to

Cos if he thinks the first 2 Kinks albums are shit then he is an absolute knob shite and I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire,

or you for that matter, but then again I bet neither of you have heard the first 2 Kinks albums.

absolute w****rs

You really got me going there Dekka.

I once had a chinese guy ask for, 'itchy fanny', Never heard of I says, so he keep asking , 'I wanna hear itchy fanny, i wanna hear itchy fanny'. He asked for it all night, over and over again. So finially I said to him, go on then, how's it go? and he sings......................

.................

.............

'itchy fanny- how we dont talk anymore'.........da da der dum..

Had a request for 'that diddly do record' - turned out to be T J Williams 'Baby i need you'

I was once asked "have you got that one by Barry Sheene, you know the one"

Lolol was it "Something new to ride" ? :o)

"Ere mate - have you got...."

"Contrast by Edwin Starr"

"Spirally by Ce Ce Pedastal"

"Tooth-ache" (True Faith and Final Cut)

"Pea's, Pie, Pudding in my Mind" (The Bucketheads)

"Sea-lions Ten Feet Tall" - Sweeter Than the Day Before - The Valentinos (do it, it works)

I've been asked for 'peas, pie, pudding chips and gray - aye- veee' - bucketheads too!

Got asked for The Lizard one night years back, you work it out 'oh take me in tender woman'.....lol

have to laugh at this becaise I thought it was called "Black feeling in motion"

I doubt if more than a handful of people knew what a backfield was in 1969

Off on a slight tangent, but the Cockney Mick story reminded me of one I witnessed in the mid eighties.

The braindead right had adopted (anarchist band!) Angelic Upstart's 'England' as their anthem, everytime it's played there was a group of people pointing at pigeons...

I was stood on the stage at Peterborough, waiting my spot and (IIRC) Jon Buck (It was a long time ago...) cued it up and as it opened came out with the wonderful comment 'If you've more limbs than braincells raise your arm'. I nearly fell off the stage laughing as the usual response was forthcoming....

just love my early British RnB, especially the Kinks

Sorry a bit off topic - but the first record player we had in our house was Christmas 1964. As soon as the shops were open I was straight out to the local record shop and buying all the EP's I could afford. Only 12 years old but I can remember 2 X Rolling Stones, Kinks, Moody Blues, Pretty Things etc. British R&B entered my DNA there and then. Still love it to this day.

Mick Webb's (aka Cockney Mick) message over the mike at a scooterist nite when asked to play something by The Who:

"Now look - let me make one thing clear. I'm here to play 60s soul music, not f*cking sh*t like the Who, the Stones, the Kinks or any of that f*cking crap".

Amen, that man!

Yep. That would indeed be Mick. In my mind, I can hear the words leaving his lips................

I once had a chinese guy ask for, 'itchy fanny', Never heard of I says, so he keep asking , 'I wanna hear itchy fanny, i wanna hear itchy fanny'. He asked for it all night, over and over again. So finially I said to him, go on then, how's it go? and he sings......................

.................

.............

'itchy fanny- how we dont talk anymore'.........da da der dum..

A great joke but I know it as him asking for "tits and fanny" (has to be done in a Chinese 'accent')

I doubt if more than a handful of people knew what a backfield was in 1969

I didn't know until the 90's!

I doubt if more than a handful of people knew what a backfield was in 1969

We had one behind our school in Barnsley. ( where they filmed a bit of Kes - Name dropping !! )

I doubt if more than a handful of people knew what a backfield was in 1969

I would have done if I'd been alive...

I once had a chinese guy ask for, 'itchy fanny', Never heard of I says, so he keep asking , 'I wanna hear itchy fanny, i wanna hear itchy fanny'. He asked for it all night, over and over again. So finially I said to him, go on then, how's it go? and he sings......................

.................

.............

'itchy fanny- how we dont talk anymore'.........da da der dum..

Confucius he say....... never DJ at weddings, in pubs, at oldies nights or scooter events.

A fun topic with some good natured replies but as a punter who often does not know song titles/artists

...note to self , dont attend events where paying customers are described by djs as

"tw*ts"

"deaf"

"thick"

"stupid and thick"

Edited January 31, 201312 yr by Krissii

A few years ago when I was doubledecking a guy came up to me and asked me to play Wigans Ovation's Ski-ing In The Snow off an LP he was holding. I kept a straight face and explained I'd got my set sorted out, perhaps the next DJ on would play it. The guy who had requested it was a big bloke, much bigger than me so I didn't want any trouble. As you can guess the next DJ didn't oblige him.

This thread has given me more laughs than anything I've read in ages.

A fun topic with some good natured replies but as a punter who often does not know song titles/artists

...note to self , dont attend events where paying customers are described by djs as

"tw*ts"

"deaf"

"thick"

"stupid and thick"

You'll not be out much this year then ... :-)

You'll not be out much this year then ... :-)

On the contrary . At the events i attend (both classic and underplayed)

the dj's seem lovely , approachable and polite

Bit off genre but Desmond Dekker - Me Ears Are Alight ??

On the contrary . At the events i attend (both classic and underplayed)

the dj's seem lovely , approachable and polite

It's a cover.....

Regards,

Dave

Not quite the same but was once in Malaya and the guy with the Bontempi organ in the hotel did a version of " Ama Ring Stinging Cabby"

"Rhinestone Cowboy" - Glenn Cambell.

We had him sing it every night for a week we loved it that much!

Regards,

Dave

These exchanges are always a bit more fun with a language barrier, as I live in Denmark now and my limited Danish either comes off as chunky and awkward or kind-of smart assy.

I was playing last thursday eve at a pretty mellow cocktail bar/restaurant kind of gig, more an excuse to eat some nice food with the lady and have some drinks than a serious gig, but usually fun all the same.

a crew of 3 or 4 Copenhagen "Inner City" types (usually pretty boorish and posh "yuppies") came up to me at the bar while I dashed for another pint in between records, so I didn't have much time to talk anyhow, and asked me if I was the DJ that night. I replied to them "yes". They asked me if I could play some "dance music" (can't remember which record was spinning, but it was definitely an uptempo number). I bluntly told them "I'm playing dance music right now. I'll be playing dance music like this all night", but apparently my Danish tone wasn't too friendly, and as I bounded back to the booth to switch over to the next record, I looked up and all 3-4 of them scowling in unison while the record faded out. If I'd had a mic I would have surely dedicated the next number to them, "here's more fantastic dance music for the folks at the bar!"

They hurriedly drank their cocktails and presumably scowled on off to the next club where they could grind their parts together on the dancefloor to some ignorant drivel.

On the contrary . At the events i attend (both classic and underplayed)

the dj's seem lovely , approachable and polite

Now, that must be a "rare" night......LOL

i got asked by a lady to play Duffy and i replied i dont know it, 10 minutes later her female friend came up and asked me to play Duffy, again i said i dont know it, she replied, you must know it everyone is playing it and its no1 in the charts, i replied. best you go back to your car and put radio 1 on they play it every 10 minutes to which she mimbled louldy some rude things about my head and my bottom, 20 miuntes later after i finshed my set i was telling Maarie about the requests and she just laughed and then said to me, oh you have not met my friends before have you there lovely and ive not seen them for agaes, she turned around and tapped this women on her shoulder and said, this is my partner Paul to which then they both replied, yeah we met him and he dont play requests i then had to explain why i dont own a copy of Duffy but bringing a shovel with me that night would of been useful

Edited January 31, 201312 yr by Bearsy

i got asked by a lady to play Duffy and i replied i dont know it, 10 minutes later her female friend came up and asked me to play Duffy, again i said i dont know it, she replied, you must know it everyone is playing it and its no1 in the charts, i replied. best you go back to your car and put radio 1 on they play it every 10 minutes to which she mimbled louldy some rude things about my head and my bottom, 20 miuntes later after i finshed my set i was telling Maarie about the requests and she just laughed and then said to me, oh you have not met my friends before have you there lovely and ive not seen them for agaes, she turned around and tapped this women on her shoulder and said, this is my partner Paul to which then they both replied, yeah we met him and he dont play requests i then had to explain why i dont own a copy of Duffy but bringing a shovel with me that night would of been useful

Why were you thinking of battering them over the head and burying them if they asked you again?

Why were you thinking of battering them over the head and burying them if they asked you again?

would of been easier to chuck them straight off the pier or just of jumped off meself Pete

Calm down Dekka!

Cockney Mick retired 20 years ago.

And Gene is a good bloke.

Thanks Pete!

Ok Pete, how ya doin mate

sorry gene, my apoligies

That's what you get for being judgemental (stupid) about someone you don't know from Adam.

And yes - for your education, which you obviously need plenty of, and information, I have heard the first 2 Kinks LPs; in fact I have a lovely copy of "Kinda Kinks" in my British beat collection which I will never part with. Got anything else to add to your inarticulate, abusive rant then?

Edited January 31, 201312 yr by Gene-R

A few years ago when I was doubledecking a guy came up to me and asked me to play Wigans Ovation's Ski-ing In The Snow off an LP he was holding. I kept a straight face and explained I'd got my set sorted out, perhaps the next DJ on would play it. The guy who had requested it was a big bloke, much bigger than me so I didn't want any trouble. As you can guess the next DJ didn't oblige him.

This thread has given me more laughs than anything I've read in ages.

I had a smilar experience when some clown asked for Skiing in The Snow by Wigans Ovations I said I've not got it but I've got the Invitations, he replied 'Invitations, whose party is it?'

Edited January 31, 201312 yr by Jimmy Scriv